Am I Making It Worse For My Students?
I wanted to pose a question I’ve been thinking about the last few days. I’m not necessarily looking for an answer from you guys, just your thoughts on the matter would be interesting to me. I’m not sure there is a clear answer.
I’m getting a lot of “advice” about disciplining my students from the administration and the Chinese assistants. For the first few days it would just be things like:
- “The students don’t respect you enough.”
- “You are too nice to them.”
- “You let them do whatever they want.”
One even said to me, “The students, they don’t fear you.” To which I responded, “Correct.”
The assistants aren’t saying it to criticize me, they like me and are trying to help me manage the classroom. They are also afraid of the headmaster. She has a reputation of popping into classrooms and being very unhappy if they children are “out of control.” However I run the classroom also affects them and their jobs, which they obviously don’t want to lose.
Most of the time I just nod my head and listen to what they say. Now and then I make comments back that try to explain my position. “They are not military. They are five.” When I say something like that the assistants usually looked defeated, or annoyed, or both.
A few days ago, though, my main assistant actually made a point that gave me pause. I’ve been thinking about it ever since. She told me that Chinese primary schools were very strict and the teachers could be very mean. “If the children don’t learn to sit quietly and listen to the teacher now, they will have many problems in primary school.”
That was an interesting argument to me. What if I was actually going to cause them to be attacked and abused even more?
I’m here teaching English, but one of my main goals is actually just to show these kids that they deserve respect and equal treatment. I want to give them an example of an adult that treats them like they are real people, not the typical slave treatment that most kids — especially in China — get from adults.
The more I’m successful the more these kids will view authority based on power as being illegitimate. They’ll see that just because someone is an “authority figure” doesn’t mean they have the right to bully you or coerce you or treat you badly.
The more that becomes a conscious thought the more you resist bullying, controls, force, and authority.
And what happens when these children go to primary school and are faced with authoritarian teachers? If I have been successful, they’ll have less respect for their new teachers. And what will that result in? The likely outcome is that even more bullying, coercion, and brutalization will be spewed in their direction.
This problem reminds me of an issue that many people from bad families face when they have younger siblings. Should they tell the younger siblings the truth about their parents? Should they explain to them the nature of the conflicts in their family? Giving the younger brother or sister a better awareness of their situation might make their home life absolute hell. Some argue that it is better to let the sibling build up defenses until they are able to leave the home. Others argue that they deserve to know the truth no matter what, and waiting until they are out of the house might be too late.
I don’t think there is a clear answer, but you can see the similarities between that situation and mine.
Is it better for these kids just to build up defenses and get through school? Will becoming aware of how badly they are going to be treated make things any better?
Obviously, me being more strict or authoritarian is not a possible solution. And I refuse to accept that these children would have better lives if they never met me. But I also can’t deny that they may have a harder childhood in school because of me.
So, what does it mean? Is it possible that I’m making it worse for my students?
Like I said, I’m not looking for an answer or a solution. But it’s a question that I’ve been thinking a lot about and I would love to hear your thoughts.
User Comments
Nathan McKaskle
03/19/10
Wow, this is an incredibly difficult problem for sure. Is there a third option?
For what its worth, I don’t think you’re making it worse. Unfortunately, if you keep going as you are you may not be there for very long, however, that would send a very strong message of contrast if they were to fire you over it.
Something just came to me though, why not help the other teachers understand?
Phil
03/19/10
That’s definitely frustrating beyond words, because you can’t change what they will experience in the future. However, here are my two cents…
As we’ve been seeing from the Bomb in the Brain series on freedomain radio (for those who haven’t seen the series reading this, its highly recommended at http://www.fdrurl.com/bib), the brain is incredibly plastic when you are working with these kids at such a young age. Even more plastic than when they meet their teachers in the years to come.
If I recall, you are working with especially young children, which means that some of the things you are doing could potentially be actually setting up “programs” in their brain that leave lasting marks of compassion, love, respect, caring, and equality with an authority figure. Yes, they will also get the opposite programs from later teachers, but I think just having that early experience will be incredibly powerful for them.
I don’t think these children are old enough to interpret later teachers as a jail sentence. You are leaving them with a package that says “Open again when you are 18″. It will be there. What a gift that is to give!
-Phil
Greg Minton
03/19/10
I think it’s kind of like if you stand up to an abused child…yes, things may get worse in the short term. But that’s not up to you. You can only act in the here-and-now, with the information that you have…not speculating about what may or may not happen as a result.
I have more thoughts, but lemme flesh em out first.
Nathan
03/19/10
I’m gonna have to go with what Phil said. Keep up the great work!
Anderson
03/19/10
Great posts, especially Phil. Thanks a lot. I’ll have to think about this stuff more but I think you’re right.
Casey
03/19/10
I think Phil makes a really good point, especially about potentially setting up programs in their brains for love, compassion, etc. that they could develop throughout their lives. That reinforces how important what you’re doing for them by being their teacher right now actually is.
It is a hard question, though. I’ve thought a lot about it since you brought it up, and I’ve even tried thinking about it when it comes to my students. I’m by far the most lenient teacher and I started to wonder if they were facing harsher punishments and reprimands from the Korean teachers and even other foreigners because I hadn’t taught them to listen to the rules and sit down to do their work and things like that. The Koreans definitely lecture them a lot, which usually brings on tears and obviously fearful faces. But I still think it’s more important to be doing what you’re doing than disciplining them and preparing them for the much harsher teachers they will have in the future.
They’re going to have people do that to them either way. I know I’ve said this to you before, but you are probably the only person who will treat them like real people from now until the time they turn 18, and maybe even after that. It is sad that they’ll have to go to other teachers who will yell and punish them, but at their age, they will adjust to that quickly. Like Phil said, you really are giving them a gift. They have years to go in a terrible education system and they will adapt to that; they’ll have to in order to protect themselves. But they’ll also know the difference between the year they had with you and the misery they’ll have with other teachers. And like you’ve said yourself, the kids know that you are different from others they’ve had.
Even with my kids, they might be a little wild when they’re with me but they settle down very quickly for the other foreign teachers and the Korean aides. However, they’re all starting to come to me when they’re sad, tired, happy or whatever feeling it is they want to share. They’re all really affectionate and constantly want to talk and hug me and play, and that’s not the case with all the teachers. The other day, one of the other foreigners, who has much more control in her classroom, said to me, your kids are so affectionate with you, they love you and mine don’t act like that with me. So the kids definitely know the difference, and I’m sure yours are the same. They’re learning that they can be themselves around you but that doesn’t mean they don’t also know the rules they have to follow at home or in other schools, or wherever else they are. Kids adapt quickly, but maybe your class is the one place where they can be themselves and be respected, not worried about being punished for every little thing. And you could be planting the seeds for them to question authority and push back later. They might have to deal with coercive and evil teachers later on in their lives and might have to do what that teacher wants to get through school but you are also showing them that they don’t have to respect people like that and that not everyone does things that way.
I know it’s a tough situation, though. I hope for your sake and theirs that your principal continues to stay off your back so you can keep doing things the way you have been. Sometimes I wonder if there is a way to find a balance – figure out a way to get them to behave well enough so that other people won’t interfere with how you’re teaching, but also do it without the reward system or the threats or the punishments. Because obviously you don’t want them to get in trouble now and you don’t want to lose your job but you don’t want to go in the other direction either. It’s hard. But I’m sure that your kids love you and that they’ve already benefited from having you in their lives even after a month.