Related posts:

1. CP8: Subtle Abuse
2. CP10: Cultural Criticisms
3. CP11: Jayden and Artists

Related posts:

1. CP12: Funemployment
2. CP14: Reward Sytems
3. CP4: Graduation Day

Related posts:

1. CP14: Reward Sytems
2. CP15: Mongolia and TCM
3. CP12: Funemployment

Related posts:

1. CP11: Jayden and Artists
2. CP10: Cultural Criticisms
3. CP5: Usher and Ethan

Related posts:

1. CP12: Funemployment
2. CP5: Usher and Ethan
3. CP10: Cultural Criticisms

Related posts:

1. CP11: Jayden and Artists
2. CP12: Funemployment
3. CP14: Reward Sytems

Here are some of my favorites:

Sigh, hope it wasn’t just pieced together! [is real, not just a fake/ruse] — 腾讯合肥市网友

Does the country/government’s strength and power have anything to do with us? — 红玛瑙

The more advanced the PLA’s weapons are, just means the more people that can be suppressed on Changan Avenue. — 織田信長

No wonder everyone says it is easy to be a [government] leader. I’d rather see the price of cabbage fall 5 mao. — 红玛瑙

Is the poster speaking for the Party, or for the people? — 朱雀

[If the country has] become more powerful, does it have anything to do with me? I only know that our wages are N times lower than abroad, and prices are so much higher than abroad that they are unrecognizable. I won’t even talk about housing prices. This thing you’ve created, what does it have to do with the lowly common people? — 租车超人

Slaves cheering the slave-master for researching and developing an even more powerful killing machine? What kind of reasoning is this? — 正宗张江男

If there is hope, it lies in the netizens?

Related posts:

1. Google, No Flowers For You
2. “Injustice has a cause, debt has an owner, out the door and to the left is the government building.”
3. Uncensored Google Results!

Sources:
China consider passing law which forces youngsters to look after elderly parents… or face jail
Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior

Related posts:

1. CP4: Graduation Day
2. CP8: Subtle Abuse
3. CP5: Usher and Ethan

Related posts:

1. CP4: Graduation Day
2. CP5: Usher and Ethan
3. CP3: Treatment of Children

We left off my work situation with me growing increasingly unhappy at my school. The headmaster, the Chinese teachers, the treatment of the children, and the general environment was all becoming too much.

When I started my job, I promised myself that I would put up with everything negative for as long as I could. I would help the kids in whatever way possible, and just deal with the stress for as long as possible, but not longer.

I didn’t want it to change me or affect me too much; I didn’t want to become one of those miserable, pessimistic teachers that — whether or not he intends to — ends up passing on that despair to the students.

I was at that point with my old school.

My original class that I started with in February had left for primary school. I had new students that didn’t know me at all, which essentially reset all of my progress with new teaching methods back to zero. And I had taken over a former teacher’s class, with new students and a small-minded, fearful assistant. (See Episode 7).

I told my agency (we’re technically employees of hiring agencies, not the actual schools) and asked what they could do about it. The short version is this: they basically told me to go back to work, shut up, and finish my contract.

I’m going to skip a lot of the struggle I had to go through with my agency, but I’ll likely cover it later in an audio post. It’s a perfect example of Chinese business culture, and their culture in general, but in the interest of time I’m going to skip the details.

Since my agency wouldn’t move me to another school, I tried to quit.

What do I mean by “tried?” I told them I had offers at other schools and was considering them. They told me they would — in more words — fuck me six ways from Sunday.

They would keep my most recent paycheck ($1000), my airfare bonus ($1000), my TEFL certification, and cancel my working visa.

Some of that I agreed to lose if I broke the contract (paycheck, airfare bonus) but still, withholding those things is at the company’s discretion. And it was very clear that they were choosing to enforce those parts of the contract out of spite. Many people leave the agency on “bad terms” (disappearing after payday, for example) and suffer little to no consequences. I had been dealing with them up front and honestly my entire time in China, even when it came to conflicts we had.

And it was more than just losing some money, they were going to cancel my working visa, which according to most people can cause you some serious problems.

McCoy and I came to China, and worked for several months, with a business visa. There are many, many foreigners that do this. A lot have been here for years, just continually renewing their business visas. But after a few months our agency offered us working visas.

We went with them, assuming that being as legal as possible would only benefit us. Wrong.

When you quit a company while working on a business visa, there are essentially no consequences. You go your separate ways. But with a working visa it’s different. Your legal status in the country is tied to a company, and if that company is willing to put in the legwork, they can dissolve that status.

Couldn’t I just apply for a new visa and be fine? Maybe.

Here’s why it’s hard to know:

1. The visa laws are a huge bureaucratic mess. And nobody — even the middle-man companies whose service is navigating the bureaucracy — seems to have a clear answer. One visa company told me that once I lost my working visa I would be unable to reapply for anything other than a tourist visa. Meaning: I’d have to leave the country. Another visa company told me that if I flew to Hong Kong and reapplied for a business visa, I would be fine, but I’d still have complications with getting another working visa. And I’d heard stories about people who broke a contract, lost their working visa, reapplied for a business visa, and still got deported.
2. Foreigners have almost no legal recourse in China. Maybe a well-connected company, but just a random guy like me would have nobody to go to. And even if I did, the outcome would be determined by who was willing to spend the most money on lawyers or arbitration. And in the end, it would still be a foreigner versus a Chinese company. The odds are not in my favor.
3. Even if the law somehow was on my side, everything is subject to the rule of bureaucratic guanxi. That should probably be capitalized: The Rule of Bureaucratic Guanxi. Whoever has the most political pull or influential connections will find a way to win, no matter what the specifics of the law might be.

Because of this, I was stuck. I spent weeks trying to figure out a way to get out of my contract, but nothing that was certain, or even close to certain.

In the meantime, I had to force the agency to move me to a new school. I had no luck convincing them, so I had to resort to more indirect methods.

I called in sick until my headmaster was furious and demanded I be fired. I don’t like doing things like that, becoming a “bad” employee, but I didn’t have much choice.

My agency caved and moved me through two new more schools — each with the same bad things as my original school, if not worse. Similar tactics kept me from staying at either permanently.

Part of me kept saying “just stick it out for three more months and be done with it.” But the rest of me couldn’t take it. I was burned out, exhausted, miserable from having to witness kids being treated like crap, and angry at how my agency was treating me.

Finally, though, I was moved to a school that wasn’t a terrible, Chinese, crush-the-souls-of-children institution. And that’s where I started my first day today.

The school is a training center, not a kindergarten. And my job is pretty simple: Parents stop by the school with their kids and I perform a thirty-minute demonstration of the classes available. If the kids enjoy it, the parents sign up and bring them back for regular classes once a week.

It’s easy and simple and the kids are treated great. The people who run the training center aren’t like typical Chinese headmasters and all of the assistants are happy and gentle.

It’s not the best school I could be at — I missed out on some opportunities at Montessori schools because I couldn’t get out of my contract — but it’s a great place to wait out the remaining months of my contract.

So that’s where I’m at. Once my contract is over in February I’ll have to make some more decisions, but for now at least, I’m pretty comfortable.

Related posts:

1. You’ve Been To China You Know How Things Work
2. Letter From A High School Teacher
3. Am I Making It Worse For My Students?

I just got scammed out of a hundred US dollars. And it’s my own idiot, iPhone-loving fault.

It’s a long story…

I was getting off the subway at Yonganli and some weird crackhead Chinese guy kept trying to get me to buy an iPhone. Whatever, though, Yonganli is full of people trying to sell you shit. I ignored him for a little but then I realized it was a real iPhone, so I got a little intrigued. He said 2000 kuai and shoved it into my hand. It was definitely real (retina display!). This shit must be stolen, there’s no way he’d sell it for 2000RMB. I walk away again and he keeps saying “need money need money” and sniffing and looking all crackhead. So I stop and say, “500 kuai.” He says no and walks away, but then turns around to follow me again. He offers me it for 600 kuai and puts it in my hand again.

Now at this point, a couple things are going through my head. 1. How the fuck is this guy selling me a real iPhone 4 for 600 kuai. I have to take that deal. 2. This is definitely stolen, whats the proper moral stance on buying a stolen iPhone from a cracked out Chinese dude? 3. Will, Will, this is too good to be true. Go home.

Now, 3 obviously wasn’t helping. So let’s just ignore that voice. 2 raises some good points. I decided if I bought it, I would call one of the contacts (I already checked, there were 36 in the phone) and try to return it. Surely, the real owner would reimburse me the hundred bucks for returning his phone. And if it didn’t have a real owner, than number 1 was right and I just got a sweet deal on an iPhone.

So we go to an ATM to get the money (we were still in Yongangli with like a bajillion people around, I wasn’t in some dark alley) and this guy is really cracking out bad. He keeps taking the phone out and putting it away and taking it out and playing with it. And creepily looking around him and talking fast in Chinese. He’s freaking me out basically. And right as I’m going to put in my pin he shoves the phone into my hand and points at my pocket. I put the phone in my pocket, get the money from the ATM, hand it to him and start walking away.

Then he calls his friend over to see if I want to buy an iPhone 3Gs. This guy is even more aggressive than the first and keeps trying to get me to buy it until finally I tell him to get lost and duck into a Starbucks. (I wasn’t being cliche by taking my new iPhone to Starbucks, I was headed there already.)

I sit down and try to come down off my adrenaline high and reach into my pocket. This is going to be so sweet. I’m going to call Brett and be like ‘Dude guess who is calling you from his new iPhone.’ It’s going to be hilarious.

I grab the phone but its suspiciously light. “Oh no no no no no.” Calm down, calm down. It’s just you being all excited.

But as soon as I look at the phone I know something is wrong. It’s all cheap and fake and OH MY FUCKING GOD HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!

Then I remember him repeatedly putting it in his pocket and taking it out, and him shoving it into my hands right as I was distracted at the ATM.

FUCK ME. No. This can’t be.

I run out into the street to look for him. Of course they are gone.

I went back into Starbucks, and resentfully glared at all the people on their iPhones, and typed the above status update.

So basically, today I failed China. Big time.

There you have it. Let his 600 kuai be a lesson to you all.

Related posts:

1. Houhai Lake
2. Chinese Night Life – St. Patrick’s Day

The video shows a Chinese kindergarten teacher repeatedly pushing, pulling, and hitting a little girl. The girl’s mother got the recording from the school and posted it online.

The story, according to ChinaSmack’s translation of the mother’s post, is this:

I am already almost at my wit’s end, but I just want to get some justice for my child!!

My daughter is only two and a half years old, and attends Xuzhou City children’s art school [nursery/kindergarten]. On the morning of September 1st, she had a quarrel with another child in her class over a small stool. Allegedly, my daughter scratched that child’s hand. That child’s mother just so happens to be a teacher at the nursery, and when she heard what happened, she rushed over to vent anger for her daughter. That child’s mother, Teacher Chen, then not only shoved but also hit my daughter for 10 minutes, and throughout all of this, all of the other teachers uniformly stood by and did nothing, not a single person going forth to intervene.

After my daughter was hit, the kindergarten teacher even called me and said that my daughter hit bit the other child, and wanted me to take the child that was bitten to go get a rabies vaccination!

After rushing to the school, I had a quarrel with that child’s mother, and only after I had requested during the quarrel to watch the video footage did I learn how my daughter was hit. I no longer want to remember that heartbreaking scene, but I forcefully copied the video recording from the kindergarten, am posting it here, hoping to ask everyone to help me, using legal channels to safeguard our personal rights!

I know this is something nobody wants to see, but here is the video:

It’s obviously vile and terrible. And it’s shocking to actually see it being done.

But I have to point out that although this is a worse-than-normal case, it is by no means uncommon. This type of treatment is very common. It’s usually not this intense, but it can be at times. I’ve witnessed it. And so have many other foreign teachers.

And as for the exposure this video is getting, I doubt much will come of it. Maybe, maybe the teacher will be fired. Besides that, this will just be ignored.

There are probably government officials who are just happy this wasn’t another kindergarten stabbing.

Related posts:

1. Letter From A High School Teacher
2. You Look Down But Far From Out
3. G-Day Plus 1

Note: Just a heads up, at one point I drop the F-bomb about ten times. I also sing. Just letting you know in case you find that (the singing) offensive.

Related posts:

1. CP4: Graduation Day
2. CP5: Usher and Ethan
3. CP8: Subtle Abuse

Update: I realized I mentioned “scantily clad Chinese girls” in my podcast and I failed to deliver any visual representations of those aforementioned subjects. So in the interest of good journalism, here are some photos from the festival:



Is it me, or is she a little bit cross-eyed? She looks like a Chinese Cheri Oteri.

Related posts:

1. CP11: Jayden and Artists
2. CP5: Usher and Ethan
3. CP4: Graduation Day

Here’s an excerpt:

Shanghai has a cosmopolitan, big-city feel but there is also something quite unique about it. The architecture is simply fascinating – check out some of the photos below to see the stunning skyline. There are some buildings that look like they came straight out of a sci-fi movie, while others have clearly not been renovated in many years.

As cool as it was to see the futuristic element of Shanghai, my favorite part of the time we spent there was wandering through back alleys and random neighborhoods, seeing how average people lived. It was shocking in some ways – for such a developed city, people were living in sparse and often dilapidated apartments. In one area, I noticed that the sewage system was an exposed pipe near the front door.

We did have one sobering encounter with a little boy, which I still struggle with when I think about it.

We were leaving the Jade Buddha Temple (which is really just a huge, ridiculous farce that I will cover in another blog post) and heading to lunch when a little boy, about 10 years old, started walking beside us. His face was filthy and his shirt was covered in dirt and he was giving us the saddest look I’ve ever seen.

The boy clearly wanted money, and was clearly experienced at begging for it. Even after being told no, he kept pace with us, repeating the same phrases in Chinese over and over again. At one point, he stuck a finger down his throat, I assume to indicate that he was hungry. I could feel my stomach starting to turn.

It’s not that I’ve never encountered a beggar before. I’ve lived in New York City and Washington, D.C., so I’ve met my fair share of homeless, desperate people, some more heartbreaking than others. But this was the first time I’d been approached by a begging child. It was horrible.

To read the rest, head over to IASISK.

Related posts:

1. Shanghai Photos
2. “The Most Frustrating Thing About Teaching: Parents”

In three short videos he covers the basics of living in China, including the economy, standard of living, working, dealing with the state, and the people and culture.

He’s about ten thousand times more succinct and on point than I manage to be, so I’m sure you’ll enjoy that.

My favorite video is the third, “People and Culture Shock.” Pretty much everything he says is right on target. I would qualify his observations by saying that they are less true in the major cities, Beijing and Shanghai, than for the other parts of China, although they still apply.

Anyway, enjoy.

Related posts:

1. IASISK – Shanghai
2. China Puts The “Jew” In Juice
3. Chinese Teacher Repeatedly Hits 2-Year-Old Little Girl

Note: It’s forty-eight minutes long. Forty-eight minutes of baller. Don’t hate.

Related posts:

1. CP4: Graduation Day
2. CP8: Subtle Abuse
3. CP11: Jayden and Artists

The jade factory was interesting, but it was mostly focused on selling you jade jewelry. We saw about 10% factory and 90% shopping area. Still, a lot of the stuff was pretty cool. A couple of us managed to get some raw jade from one of the workers, so we got a nice souvenir without having to buy some of the overpriced jewelry.

Check out the photos below.

Related posts:

1. Shanghai Photos
2. Dogs of Chende
3. Artsy Photographs From Xingcheng

Below is the gallery of the Shanghai photos; I’ll post the Great Wall photos shortly. Also, I’m hoping to have another podcast recorded tonight, so wish me luck motivating myself to do that.

As far as these photos go, I skipped the normal method of describing each one. Because I took so many I just have them in gallery form, so click each one and you’ll get a short description of what it is.

The only thing that warrants explanation is the creepy psychedelic tunnel photos. They are from a gondola lift ride that goes underneath the Huangpu River. It was so weird.

I’ll talk more about what Shanghai was like in the podcast, but for now, just check out the photos.

Related posts:

1. IASISK – Shanghai
2. Jade Factory and Badaling
3. Quick Update

Thanks to everybody to pointed this out. You can see it here.

Also, I still swear that we will award a winner for the best caption at some point in our lives.

Related posts:

1. China Puts The “Jew” In Juice
2. Caption Contest: Ass Hair Salon
3. What’s Been Going On…

Before I explain that further, I just wanted to thank everyone and anyone who listened to the initial podcast and offered me advice or support. It really, really meant a lot to me. Thank you.

Okay, so I did what I thought was most risky, but also had the greatest chance of getting Cathy fired. I called a parent behind the headmaster’s back.

I talked to one of the parents I trusted and told her about what happened. If the headmaster ever found out, I would be immediately fired. She would be extremely embarrassed — it would be a huge loss of face — and she’d feel completely betrayed. But I thought it was my best shot.

Anyway, the parent told me that her daughter, and other children, had complained about Cathy, and other parents knew she wasn’t a good teacher.

Until my phone call, they thought she was just a mean person. I explained that it was much worse than that: she is a violent, terrible person.

We talked for almost twenty minutes, and the parent was very sympathetic and understanding and sounded very concerned. But she didn’t want to call and demand that Cathy be fired. She told me she would pass along the info to the other parents (without my name) and maybe they would decide to do something. But, she said, probably the best thing to do was just wait and see what happened over the next few weeks.

Yeah. Part of me is hopeful that the rest of the parents will decide to take action. But most of me just feels frustrated and defeated. If I can’t even get foreigner parents to take a hard stance on this, what can I do? It’s depressing.

After we talked, the parent sent me an email saying that it might be better that Cathy didn’t get fired. Now she’ll be watched closer and won’t just transfer to another school and do the same things. It just sounded like she was trying to justify her inaction to herself. I didn’t bother replying.

So Cathy is back in the classroom. And the general climate in the school is pretty cold right now.

It’s not all bad. I heard from one assistant that not all of the other teachers are angry about what I did. Some of them know Cathy is terrible but felt like they couldn’t speak out against her. The pressure to protect other teachers is too strong. But they are glad that I did something.

Still, it’s not a victory. It’s a not-fully-crushing defeat. But I guess I’ll have to take it…

Cathy is still here. But so am I.

Related posts:

1. G-Day Plus 1
2. Chinese Teacher Repeatedly Hits 2-Year-Old Little Girl
3. Anderson’s First Day

I spoke to the headmaster in the morning about the events on Graduation Day. She seemed genuinely upset. Now, the headmaster has a reputation for being a bit of an actress. She can put on a nice little show to look enthusiastic or shocked or excited or touched or whatever, especially in front of parents and foreigners. So I was a little skeptical at first, but by the end of the conversation I believed she was actually very upset.

Of course, she might just be upset because of the position it puts the school in, but I’m fine with that, as long as she does what I want. And what I want is for her to drop the ban hammer on Cathy. I want her fired and I want every other teacher to know why.

I didn’t make any threats or suggestions during the conversation. Bill, Charlotte, and Casey commented that I should make the it’s-in-the-school’s-best-interest-to-fire-Cathy case, rather than any kind of ultimatums. I think that was sound advice. But for the first conversation I wanted to play it very slow and gauge the headmaster’s response.

When the conversation ended, the headmaster thanked me for telling her and said she was going to speak with the other teachers who were in the room. In fact, she asked a lot about the other teachers and what they did in reaction to Cathy’s behavior. Maybe she just wants to know how they reacted so that she can corroborate my story. But I got the distinct sense that she was angry with them.

Now, I understand being angry at the other teachers. I’m a little angry with them. I wish they would’ve stood up next to me instead of retreating in shock (or pretending nothing happened.) But really, punishing them or being angry at them seems like such a secondary concern. Cathy is the one who needs the attention here, not my assistant and the other teacher. Cathy needs to have her shit kicked out of the goddamn door immediately. Then there will be time for being angry at the others.

In the afternoon the headmaster left the school for a doctor’s appointment, so I went to my assistant to get the scoop on what happened. The headmaster still hadn’t spoken with my assistant or the other teachers in my class and she still hadn’t spoken with Cathy.

What she did do, was tell one of the other administrators to reprimand Cathy during a meeting. And apparently this was the same administrator that I told on Friday. And she did the same thing on Friday: reprimand Cathy in a meeting.

So for two meetings in a row, Cathy has been singled out and bitched at in front of the rest of the teachers in the school.

This is not what I want.

In fact, I was pretty angry to hear this. The only thing it does is humiliate Cathy in front of the other teachers. There is a part of me that says “well at least that’s something.” But it really isn’t. It does nothing to stop the problem. And it just makes the other teachers feel sympathy for her.

My assistant confirmed it; the other teachers felt bad for Cathy. My assistant even said “Maybe if I was helping her organize the children this never would have happened and she wouldn’t be in trouble.” No. Stop.

Oh, and of course the administrator announced who it was that reported what Cathy did.

Poor Cathy. She was stressed out and was getting no help and just made one mistake. But the foreigner has to run around reporting her and making a big deal out of it.

As of right now, this problem is the exact opposite of solved.

Does anyone feel for the little girl? No. Not enough to actually protect her.

Is Cathy viewed as the bad guy? Nope. Anderson is the trouble maker here.

Are the kids any better off? Maybe, but criticizing and shaming abusive people doesn’t tend to make them less abusive. Cathy will just try harder not to get caught, which will make it even harder to protect the children.

What am I planning to do? I haven’t decided yet. The headmaster is here all day today so I’m hoping she does something (even if it’s just talking to those involved) that will help me decide. I won’t threaten to quit or tell parents. Not yet.

I’m probably going to try making the case that she should be fired.

I also have another option. I could skip dealing with the administrators entirely and just go straight to a parent. If a parent called in and said something like “my daughter told me one of your teachers pushed a little girl on Friday…” it would probably help to get Cathy fired more than anything I can do.

That’s a dangerous game though. If the parent told the headmaster she was calling because of me, I would probably be fired too.

I need to be careful with whatever I decide. And I’ll keep everyone updated.

And before I finish this post, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who commented. It really meant a lot to have your support and to read your advice. This would be infinitely harder if there weren’t people here and at home who had my back. Thank you.

Related posts:

1. You Look Down But Far From Out
2. Anderson’s First Day
3. My New School (and What’s Been Up The Past Past Couple Months)

Note: It’s a bit rambly, just so you know going in.

Related posts:

1. CP5: Usher and Ethan
2. CP8: Subtle Abuse
3. CP7: I Don’t Give A Figgity Figgity Figgity What?

Yesterday afternoon around 3 o’clock, while this journalist drove towards the North Street and Xihuamen intersection, suddenly appeared ahead a middle-aged woman around 40-years-old walking amongst traffic, “collecting toll” from all of the cars passing through this street, skillfully knocking on the driver’s side windows of every car, then demanding fees from the driver, and the drivers all helplessly and more or less paying the toll.

Perhaps it was because yesterday’s temperature was too high (note: at the time, this journalist’s in-car thermometer showed 45 degrees Celsius), this female toll collector had a towel on her head and her upper body indeed was only wearing a white bra.

No related posts.

The feel of the city was very third-world so I decided to shoot some photos and make them black and white for your artsy-fartsy enjoyment. Remember, click on the image for a bigger version.
This guy was selling turtles on the street. I have no idea who would buy a turtle as a pet from this guy. Unless he’s selling them to be eaten, which makes me feel bad for the little guys. I wish they could find some ooze and become the heroes they were destined to be.
This was just a cute moment of a mother and daughter riding through the old area of town. The picture didn’t turn out as well as I’d hoped.
This was my second favorite photo. These three guys were on break from doing some kind of work, just chilling out and smoking cigs against one of the old city walls.
This was my favorite. This old lady was so old lady it was too much for words. So I took a picture. And now it’s art. Whee!

Related posts:

1. IASISK – Shanghai
2. Chinese Teacher Repeatedly Hits 2-Year-Old Little Girl
3. Houhai Lake

Nearly one in ten young Chinese under the age of 17 have some sort of mental disorders, a recent survey suggests.

The Beijing Anding Hospital and the Chinese Medical Association hosted an international conference about the mental health of young people on Sunday.

At the meeting, Chinese scholars said that at least 30 million minors in China are plagued with mental disorders or behavior problems.

By the year 2007, China had 341 million minors, accounting for 26 percent of the country’s total population.

“The number 30 million is based on regional researches in recent years. Since the mental health of children must have worsened over time, the real number could be even higher,” said Cui Yonghua, a child psychiatrist with the Beijing Anding Hospital.

“Child patients have been increasing sharply over the past years. Now we do not have enough beds for them,” said psychiatrist Cui.

This is tragic, truly. But I’m going to make a maybe somewhat controversial statement that this is a good thing. In fact, I’m sure every generation prior to this one has had a higher percentage of mental disorder. These kids acting out and receiving actual psychological attention (and media attention) means that things may get better for them and for future generations.

Still, this is a powerful and sad indicator of the terrible treatment of children.

Reader Will also juxtaposed the mental disorder story with this one from the day before. I think it speaks for itself.

Related posts:

1. CP3: Treatment of Children
2. “Injustice has a cause, debt has an owner, out the door and to the left is the government building.”
3. Chinese Teacher Repeatedly Hits 2-Year-Old Little Girl

Enjoy. Feel free to caption in the comments.

(Also, I swear to god we will award a prize for the Ass Hair Salon Caption Contest at some point in my life.)

Related posts:

1. We’re FAIL Blog Approved
2. Caption Contest: Ass Hair Salon
3. What’s Been Going On…

But I have been here for over 3 months, so I want to try. Remember, I’m just going off what I’ve experienced and extending it with a little reason. If I’m totally off-base and you think everything I’m saying is nonsense, please let me know.

Okay, enough qualifying. Here’s what I’m going to say about Chinese people: They lacky the passion.

Among almost all the Chinese people I have met and talked with, I find a total absence of passion.

In order to understand what I mean when I talk about passion, we’re going to have to use the West (specifically America) as a comparison. Which means I’m going to have to paint another culture with a broad brush.

Genuine Passion

When I think about passion in the West I usually break it down into two categories. The first is genuine passion.

Genuine passion is a deep love and enthusiasm and drive for something. It’s easy to associate this with artists. People who truly and deeply care about painting, or music, or cinema, or literature. But it could be about anything.

I consider Richard Dawkins and Carl Sagan some of the most passionate authors I’ve read. It’s science and reason and truth that they are passionate about, and you can feel their enthusiasm in almost everything they write.

I think you can have that same enthusiasm and joy toward anything and everything, from stamp collecting to webdesign to philosophy to psychology to baking to chemistry to life itself. And I think most passionate people are passionate about everything they do, not just their main interests.

It’s sometimes hard to quantify, but you just know. You can tell by the way the person talks and by their body language. You can sense their excitement or awe or enthusiasm.

I’m sure you’ve probably experienced both sides of this. You’ve been able to tell when someone you’re talking to really cares about the subject, when it excites them and energizes them. And you know what it’s like to talk about something you really love. (At least I hope you know what it’s like.)

This type of passion — genuine passion — I also associate with a few other traits.

One of them is a level of disregard for what other people think. Passionate people pursue the things they love, despite what anyone else (friends, family, society) thinks about them. It’s part of that drive that a passionate person has. They are individuals, not conformists. Social norms aren’t going to stop them.

Another set of traits I find in most passionate people is honesty, openness, and curiosity. They don’t hide or hedge or minimize the things they believe and value. They are open about how they feel and what they think. And at the same time they are often curious and willing — in fact happy — to listen to other people’s thoughts and opinions. Passionate people are excited by others who want to engage them on the things they care about.

(I would say this is true even for passionate religious people. In my experience, people who are really passionate about religion are often the ones willing to listen to my (very opposing) ideas. It is your average my-parents-were-religious-so-now-I-am religious people that get defensive or evasive about their beliefs.)

(Oh, and I would also like to clarify that I don’t count zealotry and fanaticism as being passionate. I see that more as an unhealthy obsession. So, just like I wouldn’t call a heroin addict “a person who is passionate about heroin,” I don’t consider a fanatic “just a really passionate person.”)

Bandwagon Passion

I see genuine passion here and there in the West, but overall it’s pretty rare. What I see a lot more of is a watered-down version of passion, something I’ll call bandwagon passion.

This pseudo-passion copies the enthusiasm of real passion, but little else. It leaves out the true dedication, and joy, and individualism, and curiosity found in genuine passion. And it’s easy. It’s so easy.

This is embodied in almost every popular issue or movement in America. From environmentalism to health-care reform to supporting the troops to helping the poor to protecting small business owners to blah blah blah. Just pick an easy issue and jump on board.

Listen to celebrities talk about environmentalism as they fly around in their Gulfstreams. Or the conservative politicians talk about family values as they cheat on their wives. Or the college kid who thinks it’s so important to stop war as he supports a president sending 10,000 more young men to die in the desert. Yes, psuedo-passion almost always comes with a healthy helping of hypocrisy.

I do realize that some of the people who care about these issues are genuinely passionate and not hypocritical. But they are the rare ones. Most are just followers who are defensive when challenged and always ready to jump on the next up-and-coming topic.

Raise a flag for some trendy social issue and watch these slithering bandwagon passionistas gather round.

Wasn’t This Supposed To Be About China?

Yes. There was a reason for those tangents. And here it is: I see none of that in China.

The genuine passion, already a rare thing, is unsurprisingly absent. But so is the bandwagon passion.

Most young Chinese people I talk to — not all, but most — are totally devoid of either form of passion. I met an American girl in a bar and one of the first things she talked about was how she is “really into human rights.” Whether it’s genuine or bandwagon passion, this doesn’t happen when you talk to Chinese people.

I ask Chinese people what they care about and what they are really interested in and I usually get the most mundane answers: hanging out with friends, going shopping, going to the movies with friends. I mentioned this to my Chinese assistant and she said “Chinese girls do care about things. They care about shopping and shopping and make-up.” She was being funny, but there was some truth to it.

And it isn’t just the content of the interests. It’s also the way they talk about them. That spark of enthusiasm and excitement I talked about before, I don’t see that. They sound bored with their own interests. They sound bored that you even asked them a question about their interests.

Again, there are exceptions.

I was talking with a 26-year-old Chinese girl the other day who was extremely passionate about everything she brought up, even her job. I was so surprised that I actually said something to her.

“You know, I really think it’s cool how passionate you are. Most people I talk to here aren’t really excited about anything. You’re pretty enthusiastic about everything.”

She looked at me and smiled, “I love life. Being pretty will fade when I get old, but I hope I always keep my passion.”

Ballin’.

As cool as that was, it was only shocking because it’s so counter to my normal experiences with Chinese people.

Show Me The Passion

Obviously, I don’t want Chinese people to fix this problem by following Americans and jumping on every trendy bandwagon. But at least that Western pseudo-passion reveals an underlying desire to be enthusiastic and excited about something. A desire I’m having real trouble finding in China.

I have some ideas about why there is this lack of passion. Most of them have to do with parenting and the treatment of children. It’s also part of the culture in general. It’s a topic that needs a lot more thought and investigation.

I can say this: The biggest exception to everything I’ve been describing is children. Children are absolutely not like this. My students are passionate and enthusiastic and excited every day, about all kinds of things. I can’t even count the number of times a day one of my 5-year-olds runs up to me and breathlessly explains something they are excited about. And when I respond with enthusiasm, they get even more passionate.

So don’t think I’m describing some genetic problem or anything like that. This is a result of nurture, not nature. The kids in China start out just as passionate as all children. It’s ground out of them by the usual suspects: parents, teachers, and politicians.

How in particular is something I’m not sure about. And why it is different than in the West. Why isn’t there at least bandwagon passion here?

In the comments let me know what you think of this. Am I right or wrong? What do you think the causes are? And tell me your thoughts on why I’ve found China to be a passionless desert.

Related posts:

1. McCoy’s First Day
2. 30 Million Children With Mental Disorders
3. CP5: Usher and Ethan

The dog market wasn’t really a “market,” it was just a bunch of tables and cages set up around a big parking lot. I snapped some photos of the dogs and you can see them below.

Now, I fully recognize that being sold as pets is probably the best fate a dog can have. These dogs weren’t being bred for food, or fighting, or to be vicious attack dogs. They were being sold to tourists — Chinese and foreign — visiting Chende. And I also realize that there are children in China living in worse conditions than these dogs.

But, despite all that, I couldn’t help feeling sorry for them. Check out the pictures below and let me know what you think.

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In the past few weeks there have been multiple stabbings in Chinese kindergartens.

Last Thursday, a man in Taixing city injured at least 28 four-year-olds when he entered the kindergarten and started attacking people with a knife. Two other attacks had happened before that and schools are terrified of more attacks. McCoy’s school, and many others around Beijing, have had guards posted in the mornings and are under lock-down during the day. No visitors are allowed to come or go.

There have been a lot of articles speculating why this keeps happening and why people are targeting schools. I’ve seen a bunch of different explanations ranging from “romantic issues” to “mental illness” to “frustration over the increasing economic disparity.” But I want to focus on one article by a Chinese blogger Han Han.

Han Han is a novelist and one of China’s most famous bloggers. He’s also a racecar driver. (Before you say something like “that doesn’t make sense,” I’m going to have to remind you that this is China.)

Anyway, his article is full of criticism for how the Chinese government has been handling the attacks. You can read the full thing here. And below are some highlights:

Aside from Yang Jia, nearly all killers choose to begin by killing the weak. If they feel there’s no way out in society, then killing those even weaker than themselves becomes their only way out. I recommend that all the police guarding the doors of local officials nationwide be transferred to guard kindergartens. A government that can’t even protect children doesn’t need so many people protecting it.

…

After the Taizhou kindergarten murder incident, the media was controlled. These children were born at the wrong time [i.e., unlucky] and they died at an even worse time. In this jubilant atmosphere [of the opening of the Shanghai Expo], this incident is just noise to the relevant government departments. All we know is that according to the government, 32 people were injured and no one died, but on the streets there are rumors that many children were killed. So who should I believe? If the government is telling the truth, then why are they not letting parents see their children? They’ve also blocked off the hospital and shut off the news, and there are no photographs or video of children. Moreover, a murderer chops up thirty two people with a knife and no one dies? Was he really committing murder or performing surgery?

…

I was very astonished. The Taizhou government has successfully sealed information, closed the hospital, controlled the media, forbidden visitors, and diverted public attention, but now they have successfully taken the people’s anger at the killer and directed it at themselves, and for what?

…

It’s their usual process: eat, drink and be merry all night until something happens, then hide, isolate, remove the media, make prohibitions, send press releases, make compensations, cremate the bodies — then go back to eating and drinking. Their way of dealing with things isn’t much more noble than a murderer’s. No wonder I saw online a kindergarten hanging a banner: “Injustice has a cause, debt has an owner, out the door and to the left is the government building.”

…

I don’t want to delve into the social reasons for the killing, I just want to tell everyone here that a man rushing into a kindergarten and stabbing children can’t even make the news.

Ready for his powerful final paragraph? If you don’t love Han Han already, you will after this:

Perhaps in the eyes of those old men, you children are just spoiling their fun.

Wretched children, it is you who are poisoned by milk powder, harmed by vaccines, crushed by earthquakes, and burnt in fires. Even if there’s a problem with rules in the adult world, you are the ones adults stab in retaliation. I truly hope it is as the Taizhou government says, and you’re all just injured and no one has died. We elders have failed in our duties. I hope that when you grow up, you will not only protect your own children but build a society that protects everyone’s children.

Related posts:

1. Chinese Tests Black Eagle
2. Chinese Teacher Repeatedly Hits 2-Year-Old Little Girl
3. Google, No Flowers For You

While I’m waiting to receive a lesson plan
Vicky: Hey Anderson, I am so sorry. my computer in trouble and I repair it now .maybe I will email to you about 8:30 tonight.

Me: Haha, that’s okay. I hope your computer gets out of trouble. Goodluck!

Vicky: thank you. oh my god.

After I asked if we can use class time to practice a performance
Vicky: k ,no problem.haha .sorry ,my English is so bad .I want to cry .later may be I will email next week’s lesson plan to you .please correct .thanks.

Random email
Vickey: Hi, Are you watching TV now ? I want to tell you that tomorrow our English lesson may by cancel ,because Chinese teacher want to practise her lesson ,in order to through testing on friday. Are you clear?

Me: I’m clear. No I’m not watching TV. Are you?

Vicky: haha ,I have finished my work .i am watching TV now.tomorrow I need to print something ,If the teacher classroom can not work ,perhaps I will call you,is it ok? sorry,tomorrow I can bring laptop to school too ,because my boyfriends need it ,very very need it .

After sending her a lesson plan written by the administrators
Vicky: I will be mad ,why next week we have two activities every day .because next week english in the afternoon.are you clear?

Me: Because [the administrator] is a retard.

Vicky: haha I do not know “retard”.but I think it is not a good word.

After I asked her to clarify part of a lesson (note: I had previously called Vicky gay the day before)
Vicky: h ,that is a dialogue between teacher and children. Chelsea let me told you next monday English lesson in the afternoon.only monday.because that day some teacheres will come to test.Do you understand? just now ,I have look into “gay” from the dictionary .

Random email containing a lesson plan
Vicky: Hi handsome boy. I can not open my eyes right now ,I must go to sleep right now . sorry ,my english is so bad so that waste your so much time. see you.

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1. My Day
2. Timeline Of My Work Day
3. Chinese Teacher Repeatedly Hits 2-Year-Old Little Girl

McCoy and I posted a lot during the first week about some of the crazy stuff going on, but I don’t think it painted a very clear picture, so let’s begin there.

The First Week

The first night we arrived at the airport and were greeted by our contact here. She would later become McCoy’s girlfriend — yes, it was literally the first girl he met in China, go ahead and settle those bets now. We had a 30 minute ride from the airport into the city, and it was pretty uneventful.

The highway seemed a little crazy with everyone speeding and swerving, but it wasn’t too jarring. And as we approached the city is looked like every other city: a lot of bright lights and buildings.

Our contact checked us into a hotel — where we would stay for the next 5 days — and pointed us in the direction of an ATM, a restaurant, and the subway. She told us another employee would meet us at a hospital the next day and asked if we needed help navigating the subway. We told her we didn’t, we hoped we didn’t.

After that we took out some yuan and had our first Chinese meal. We pretty much just pointed at pictures (while the waitress laughed at us) and hoped for the best. It wasn’t bad but we did end up getting some duck feet which McCoy ate. After that we succumbed to the jet-lag and 13 hour time difference and passed out.

In the morning we made our trip to the hospital. The subway ride spawned this post.

There wasn’t much cultural shock happening. Beijing was crowded and nobody really spoke English. But besides that it seemed fine. For sure, Chinese culture is different in many ways than Western culture and I’ll explore that more in later posts.

In any case, we weren’t really given much time to be shocked. From the first day we were being rushed around different places for our jobs. First the hospital, then the main office, then to different schools. By our third day there I had already visited 3 schools and been offered a job by one of them.

Do you know the feeling of starting a new job? You’re starting right in the middle of things and there’s so much going on, you just have to try to learn as fast as possible and get up to speed. It’s stressful but exciting. So imagine that, and then add in being in a new city with a language you don’t speak and 13 million people.

Some of the other teachers didn’t like it so much. One girl quit after being in China for only one day. And most others were stressed and nervous wrecks.

I like to tell myself that I’m really great in those types of situations. The kind where you’re under a lot of pressure but you still keep your head clear and just roll with the punches. It doesn’t matter how fast things are happening and how little explanations I’m getting, I can handle it. Right?

It was definitely easier having someone you can trust with you, but even with that, it was a pretty unsettling few days. I remember having problems effectively accessing and sorting my thoughts and emotions for the first two or three weeks after being here. And I’m sure it was because those first few days drove me into a “survival mode” where I couldn’t really feel relaxed and comfortable. It wasn’t until I started journaling again frequently that I really felt like I was back to normal.

So the first week of being shuffled around ended with us being placed at schools and finding an apartment. Over the next couple weeks we found a third roommate, bought furniture and kitchen stuff, and settled into our routines.

The Routine

The routine since then has pretty much been teaching during the week and hanging out with the other teachers on the weekend. We haven’t been able to see many touristy sites outside of Beijing because the weekends are too short for any real traveling.

And since the first week, the stress has found a new source: teaching. I won’t go to too much into it here, but constantly dealing with aggressive assistants, overbearing administrators, and great kids that you want to protect from everything really leaves me ragged by the end of the day.

Of course, teaching isn’t all bad. It’s actually really great and I love it. But I love it because of the kids and hate it because of pretty much everything else.

Besides working, we did meet a lot of other people that were cool. And a lot that weren’t that great.

I had this misconception before we left. I thought that most foreigners we met in China would be awesome. Just think about it, these are people who have left everything they knew behind to travel to the other side of the world. They must be adventurous and individualistic. They bailed on their countries and cultures and all of that other bullshit to go experience something totally new and to teach kids while they’re doing it. They must be awesome.

Wrong. For sure, there are some really cool people we’ve met. Those are the ones I continue to hang out with. But besides that, you pretty much have the same spectrum you have anywhere. The range from socially awkward and creepy types to annoying douchebag types. It’s inescapable.

So What’s Next?

Not sure. McCoy has a relationship developing. Hopefully he’ll post about that at some point.

And I’m just hanging out. I teach, I blog, I do self-work, I design shit, and I socialize on the weekends. It’s actually pretty fantastic and I really like living here. My Chinese still sucks, but I’m not working on it too much, I just absorb things here and there.

I promised myself I wouldn’t think about what to do after China until I had been here at least 6 months, and I’m sticking to that rule.

As for this website, I’m not sure. I still haven’t figured out the balance between touristy stuff with pictures and humorous anecdotes, the (sometimes heavy) teaching stuff, and the philosophical and psychological ideas and thoughts. It’s something that I’m constantly thinking about and trying to improve. All three are really important to me, and they are related in different ways. If you have feedback on this subject please let me know.

I know I’m going to keep posting a lot of teaching stuff, I have a few more From Childhood To Statism posts planned. And eventually I’ll be motivated to get into some straight philosophy. I also have posts about Chinese culture, including one called “The Cult of the Chairman”, in the works.

If you’re looking for some more picture posts get excited, I am visiting the Great Wall this weekend and will (hopefully) get some great shots.

For the rest I’m just being patient and working on things as they come up.

Alright, I think that’s pretty much it. I hope you enjoyed your stay in Ramble City and some of this was interesting. If not, I’m sure my next post will have some really bad and immature jokes. Everything will be right with the world!

Until then…

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1. Would You Listen To An Audio Post?
2. 150 Fans on Facebook!
3. What’s Been Going On…

You can see it on the Google Map below.

View Larger Map

It’s a nice area and I took a few photos, so here they are:
This is the south side of the lake. There’s a lot of people just hanging out playing hacky sack and walking around. The lake is surrounded by restaurants and bars — most relatively new, from around 2003. If you look at the left side of the second photo, you can see a Starbucks.

Here is a close up: In the far right window (under the glare, sorry) you can see the standard logo. Starbucks is pretty much the same price in China, maybe a buck cheaper, which really sucks because I have a serious caffeine addiction and I pass one every day on my way to work. It’s so tempting, especially the green tea lattes which are amazing. They taste like the green tea ice cream you get at sushi places in America.

Here is a shot from the western side of the lake: It’s kind of pretty, but not the kind you think of when you imagine lakes. It’s not serene, at all. China doesn’t do serene.

For example, here is one of the alleyways leading away from the lake: Oh look, it’s a crowd of people.

Speaking of crowds, I saw a bunch of people gathering around a little bird so I went to check it out. He was the most amazing little guy ever. He would take money from people and drop it in a little birdie bank.

And while we’re on the subject of cute animals. Look at how fluffy and goddamn cute this Chow is: Hey guys, there’s a reason Chinese dogs are called chow. I’m kidding! Well, not really. But I’m pretty sure nobody ate this dog.

Let’s change the subject. I found a little shack along the lakeside selling propaganda posters. A lot of children were depicted in the posters, not really surprising.

I think this set was my favorite: I love the farmer holding the Little Red Book aloft, which is hilarious to me. Look how happy he is to be starving to death! Maybe he’s just happy he found his copy, otherwise Red Guards would be beating him. Next to that we have the red fist smashing some guys, I’m not sure who. If you can figure it out let me know, otherwise I’m just going to assume they are capitalist pigs or members of the liberal bourgeoisie. And finally, a smoking ad! Of course.

Alright, I’m going to wrap this post up on a good capitalist note:

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Due to my constant jokes about Mao’s ghost and tenacious anarchist views the benevolent and loving Party has decided to deport us.

McCoy thinks he might be able to stay since he married his Chinese girlfriend over the weekend. (Surprise everyone!) But I’m definitely fucked.

I have 24 hours to leave the country otherwise I’ll be put in a work camp and forced to sew the bindings of Little Red Books for the next 30 years.

I’m actually considering that option since I’ve seen Batman Begins. Bruce Wayne went from American kid to Chinese prisoner to ninja badass to super hero. Pretty sure I can take the same route.

Oh, and if you didn’t already realize…

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The Yonghe Temple , also known as the “Palace of Peace and Harmony Lama Temple”, the “Yonghe Lamasery”, or – popularly – the “Lama Temple” is a temple and monastery of the Geluk School of Tibetan Buddhism located in the northeastern part of Beijing, China. It is one of the largest and most important Tibetan Buddhist monasteries in the world. The building and the artworks of the temple combine Han Chinese and Tibetan styles.

I was going to write more about the history and beliefs and all of that stuff associated with this temple, but let’s be honest, it’s all bullshit anyway. And you guys just care about the pictures, so here they are.

The neighborhood around the Llama Temple is pretty cool and has similar architecture, so I took a few photos of the area outside the temple.

The entrance to the temple is a long walkway with trees on both sides. It doesn’t look at cool here as it would in the summer when the trees are green, but it is still pretty sweet.

Inside the courtyard you can see the first temple building. When I took the banner picture Jupiter was in retrograde and the moon was full so the courtyard was magically empty. It normally looks like this:

In the courtyard there is a big bell that a couple kids were ringing. It was kind of endearing.

There were also stone lions outside of the first building. You can see them all over China, usually at gates and entrances. Below is a picture of the female lion with a cub under her paw.

All around the temple there were people praying and burning incense. I’m not really sure what the deal is with incense — I thought it was just something hippies really enjoyed. Apparently it also serves as a sacrifice to certain gods. And it’s used to brand monks heads when they become ordained. I’m sure there’s a reason somewhere, but since this is religion we’re talking about I’m also sure it’s made up nonsense.

I wasn’t allowed to take pictures inside the actual temple buildings, but I did manage to sneak one of Buddha and some other god.

Sorry Christians, but if I have to pick an imaginary friend I’m pretty sure I’d pick Buddha over Jesus any day. Buddha looks like a party animal; Jesus is all weepy and sad. (And he gets blood on everything he picks up. Clean up those holes, dude.)

Most of the people weren’t actually inside the temple buildings. They congregated in the areas between buildings around incense and weird spinning luck machines.

Okay, time for the last two pictures. Tell me they don’t say something about Chinese culture. I’m not exactly sure what they are saying, but it seems profound. I’m sure it has something to do with how tradition spans generations and keeps the Chinese connected no matter how different they are. Or, it’s that Chinese people really dig beads and incense.

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The China Digital Times picked up a set of media rules issued by the Central Propaganda Department of the Communist Party. It went out on Tuesday and was leaked onto Chinese social media sites. (By the way, Central Propaganda Department is the actual name. I wasn’t making that up. Their nickname, of course, is the Ministry of Truth.)

Here are the “guidelines” that the state handed down to media outlets:

All chief editors and managers:

Google has officially announced its withdrawal from the China market. This is a high-impact incident. It has triggered netizens’ discussions which are not limited to a commercial level. Therefore please pay strict attention to the following content requirements during this period:

A. News Section

1. Only use Central Government main media (website) content; do not use content from other sources
2. Reposting must not change title
3. News recommendations should refer to Central government main media websites
4. Do not produce relevant topic pages; do not set discussion sessions; do not conduct related investigative reporting;
5. Online programs with experts and scholars on this matter must apply for permission ahead of time. This type of self-initiated program production is strictly forbidden.
6. Carefully manage the commentary posts under news items.

B. Forums, blogs and other interactive media sections:

1. It is not permitted to hold discussions or investigations on the Google topic
2. Interactive sections do not recommend this topic, do not place this topic and related comments at the top
3. All websites please clean up text, images and sound and videos which attack the Party, State, government agencies, Internet policies with the excuse of this event.
4. All websites please clean up text, images and sound and videos which support Google, dedicate flowers to Google, ask Google to stay, cheer for Google and others have a different tune from government policy
5. On topics related to Google, carefully manage the information in exchanges, comments and other interactive sessions
6. Chief managers in different regions please assign specific manpower to monitor Google-related information; if there is information about mass incidents, please report it in a timely manner.

We ask the Monitoring and Control Group to immediately follow up monitoring and control actions along the above directions; once any problems are discovered, please communicate with respected sessions in a timely manner.

Addition guidelines:

- Do not participate in and report Google’s information/press releases
- Do not report about Google exerting pressure on our country via people or events
- Related reports need to put [our story/perspective/information] in the center, do not provide materials for Google to attack relavent policies of our country
- Use talking points about Google withdrawing from China published by relevant departments

There are some real gems in there, but I think my favorite is rule B-4, which I highlighted for its awesomeness.

*Editor hands out guidelines to reporters* “Here you go guys, the standard stuff, no supporting Google, no going against the official party line. Just make sure you follow these rules and you’ll be fine. Nothing out of the ordinary here. Oh, and one more thing, NO FUCKING FLOWERS FOR GOOGLE. DO YOU HEAR ME?! IF I HEAR ABOUT ANYONE GIVING GOOGLE A FLOWER I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL SEND ALL OF YOU ‘JOURNALISTS’ STRAIGHT TO AMERICA. You want that? You wanna go work in American media? You want to be the temp that lubes up Glenn Beck’s tear ducts every night? How about MSNBC? You can go be Keith Olbermann’s assistant, getting his pants dry cleaned every time he creams himself after an Obama speech. I swear on the ghost of Mao if I hear one story about Google getting flowers you will all be on Olberman jizz duty.”

*Reporters shudder* “No please, chief, anything but that. Send us to the work camps instead.”

Anyway, what was I saying?

Update: One way or another Google always gets their flowers.

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I want to try to describe their music but it’s really hard. There is definitely some rock or punk rock in there. There is also an Old West folksy feel. You can hear a lot of Asian melody with intense Mongolian throat singing. But there is also a weird American Indian vibe to their songs. I’ve never heard anything like it before.

Wikipedia says:

The members of Hanggai Band come from extremely diverse backgrounds with singer Ilchi having once been the front man of punk band T9.

These eclectic experiences have come together to give Hanggai Band a particularly unique sound blending Mongolian folk music with more popular forms such as punk.

In an interview with Spinner, Ilchi stated that amongst the group’s many influences, Western artists such as, “Pink Floyd, Radiohead, Rage Against the Machine, Secret Machines, Electralane and Neil Diamond…” have played a large role in shaping the band’s music.

I’ve included a couple videos that I uploaded to Facebook so you can get a feel for how they sound. These were parts of their less rock-sounding songs.

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Earlier today we stopped censoring our search services—Google Search, Google News, and Google Images—on Google.cn. Users visiting Google.cn are now being redirected to Google.com.hk, where we are offering uncensored search in simplified Chinese, specifically designed for users in mainland China and delivered via our servers in Hong Kong. … We very much hope that the Chinese government respects our decision, though we are well aware that it could at any time block access to our services.

I checked about ten minutes ago and it looked like the results were still uncensored. I did a search for ‘Tiananmen square’ and got the same results as I did when using Google.com over VPN. So for now, people in China actually have access to unfiltered Google results.

I can’t see this lasting more than a day or two (or maybe only a few hours) until the Chinese government steps back in to prevent the poor common folk from catching truthitis.

You can monitor the state of Google’s services in China here.

Also, if you missed Bill Gates’ comment from back in January (when Google first announced they would stop filtering results) here it is: “You’ve got to decide: Do you want to obey the laws of the countries you are in, or not? If not, you may not end up doing business there.” Spoken like a true bitch.

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After buying some extra furniture and making a few runs to Carrefour our apartment is finally — what I would call — settled. There were some interesting moments of communication failure with the delivery people. They never showed up at the times we previously agreed to, sometimes not even at the right place.

One truck dropped off our new coffee table at my school instead of the apartment. I had to convince a taxi driver to let me shove the huge glass table into his back seat and take it to our place. I finally got it there and with the help of some strangers managed to get it into my building.

We’ve also settled into the routines at our jobs. Between teaching and lessoning planning and dealing with the politics of working in a school the weeks have gone by super fast. And the weekends go even faster.

Most weekends we have spent hanging out with other teachers and usually the main focus is go out eating and drinking and don’t think about how soon Monday will come. We’re making a few good Chinese friends too, in addition to the crowd of Western teachers. I’ll let McCoy talk more about that in his next post.

(Oh by the way, one of our Chinese friends got me a free VIP haircut at Toni & Guy. So yes, I’m officially gay now. Just kidding radies! *flexes muscles* *applies eyeliner*)

My biggest regret is that I still haven’t seen a lot of the tourist sites around Beijing. I keep telling myself, “This weekend you will go to Tiananmen Square and take pictures and then make a great post on Chinarchy that includes jokes about Mao’s ghost.” Unfortunately, it hasn’t happened yet. But I do have a whole year. And once we get paid (our first real paycheck is April 15) it’ll be a lot easier to see the sites.

I promise that posts about Tiananmen and the Great Wall and all of that stuff will happen eventually. And I’ll try to include a lot of pretty pictures so you don’t have to read a Great Wall of Text. [Groan. The jokes won't ever improve.]

Besides the touristy stuff, we also have a lot of posts planned about cultural stuff. We’re not sure how to dig into it yet, but we know the differences and similarities between Chinese culture and Western culture would make for interesting stories. We just have to figure out the best way to handle that stuff. [Did I really say 'stuff' three times in that paragraph?]

And, as always, I have a queue of maybe six or seven posts related to teaching. I just need the time to flesh them out.

Alright, well that’s it. Expect more in the next few days. Oh, and we’ll announce the winner of the caption contest soon too, so if you haven’t posted go do it now.

And to everyone reading and commenting and following us on Facebook and Twitter, we love you!

Related posts:

1. Two-Month Recap
2. 5 Reasons You Should Read Chinarchy

Beijing has been shrouded in orange dust as a strong sandstorm blew hundreds of miles from drought-struck northern China to the nation’s capital.

The authorities have issued a level-five pollution warning and urged people to stay indoors. In Tiananmen Square, clouds of dust obscured monuments and visitors wore masks to avoid the dust and soil.

The storm has already caused havoc in Xinjiang, Shanxi, Shaanxi and Hebei regions and is heading to South Korea.

It would have been awesome to go out and take some photos and really experience the sandstorm first hand. I probably would’ve written a very descriptive (but hilarious) post about what it really feels like to be in the middle of a sandstorm. Unfortunately, I totally slept through it. But I’m pretty sure this video captures the total experience.

No related posts.

As soon as we got there it was obvious that no Chinese people knew what was up. The bar was packed with Westerners. It was seriously all white people. It totally killed the novelty of seeing another Westerner in Beijing. These people are everywhere now! I think it made me a tiny bit racist. [Reverse racist. Technically. Something I learned in college.]

Anyway, the white people weren’t the only problem. It was also the Jews. Kidding. Jeesh. The other problem was paying 55 kuai for a Guinness that tasted like shit. So we packed up and moved to a bar called Smugglers — which I love.

At Smuggler’s I got six Tsingtao’s for 60 kuai. I think we did what any real Irish person would’ve done. (Except a real Irish person would have bitched about having to drink this “cheap Chinamen piss water,” but done it anyway.)

[Pretty sure this post is the most racist thing I've ever written.]

Related posts:

1. Chinese Night Life – Part 1
2. Me Scam You Long Time
3. Check Out My Sweet Ride

Until that day comes I’ll just have to post pictures here and ask: Does anyone know what the hell this fruit is?

It looks like some kind of alien pod. I was scared to get closer because of my life-long fear of facehuggers.

Update: Apparently it’s a Durian. But even after reading that Wikipedia page I’m still not convinced it won’t kill me.

Related posts:

1. Check Out My Sweet Ride
2. Uncensored Google Results!
3. McCoy’s Food Corner: Cafeteria Food

In this post I’m only going to talk about bars. There are three main types — as far as I can tell — so let’s go through them one by one.

1. The Chinese Bars

Also known as the “weird bars” these are the bars try to appeal to foreigners, but are really only full of Chinese people. For the record, I haven’t actually been inside of these bars. All I can go on is my impression from walking by, which is enough to deter me from actually going in.

There is one main strip (that I’ve been to) that is full of these bars. And they actually look really cool and fun as you approach. The whole street is lit up with all kinds of lights. The trees along the street are decorated with Christmas-style lights and the bar windows are flashing. As you look down the sidewalk you see a lot of people. “Hey, this is the happening place,” you say in an old-person-trying-to-sound-cool voice.

But as you walk down the street things begin to change. A lot of people on the sidewalk are weird guys hired by the bars to reel you in. “Happy hour special, just for you.” Happy hour? It’s 11 PM. And just for us? Yeah, that doesn’t sound like a lie at all.

“Two for one special. Good deal!” Bu Yao buddy. Do not want.

In addition to the Chinese bar salesman [Get it? Bar salesman? Like car salesman. They act like car salesman but they are trying to get you into a bar. It's funny guys. Never mind.] there are also the street peddlers. They have little tables and stands set up and you walk past they encourage you to buy some cheap cigarettes and abnormally huge lighters.

And while all this is going on, you’re trying to get glimpses inside these bars. They are dark but have very bright lights shining on stages. Stages where someone is singing terribly. Really, not good singing. And they are full of Chinese people.

Seeing no foreigners in a place doesn’t automatically make it bad, but it does make you think twice. For some reason no other Westerner in the whole city is at this bar. Why?

“Cheap beer! Ladies get special deal.” Okay. You’ve had enough of these guys. And, if you’re like me, you decide that one day you’ll try out one of these places. But not now. You’re far too sober for it now. One day when you’re good and drunk. That’s the only way you’ll be able to handle this situation. So, you move on.

2. The Night Clubs

These are essentially the same as the American night clubs I’ve been to, but bigger. I’ve been to two big clubs and they are both in the same place: Vics and Mics. Yeah, I don’t understand why they are named that. But I know that I hated Mics and I found Vics tolerable. Tolerable is about the most a night club could ever get out of me.

I’m not really a club person, so for someone else these bars might be the best thing in China. I’ll go if that’s what the rest of the group wants to do, but I’m never really excited for a club.

So anyway, I’ll get to the narration. You walk into the club. There is free coat check. Nice. But there is also a cover. Goddammit. Don’t worry though. Covers are negotiable. We got in for free at Vics — maybe that’s why I liked it more. And at a different club-like bar I was able to haggle a two-for-one deal on the covers. And I convinced the girls to pay. (“Chivalry is dead in China.” Didn’t Mao say something like that? Or was it “chivalry is dead in bed.” I read it on a fortune cookie.)

Alright so you’re past the cover line and you walk into the club proper. (“Proper” is how I like to describe the big dance floor where everyone is grinding their ass on everyone else.) The place is huge; it’s a giant room. And there’s a balcony running around the top of it. Up there are tables for bottle service and private parties. That’s where the rich look down on the silly peasants forced to buy their vodka redbulls from a bartender.

Since this is a night club the music is super loud and you can feel the bass in your chest. I don’t actually mind this that much, until I wake up the next day and not only do I have a hangover but my ears are ringing from the music. Hangover plus ringing ears is a recipe for grouchiness. What? It is.

Like I said, I hated Mics but I loved Vics. I’m not really sure why. Vics, despite the crowd and the overpriced drinks, felt like a fun place. I had fun there. Mics was the most boring night club I’ve ever been to. It was just not fun. I can’t really put my finger on what about the atmosphere was different, but it was.

I realize none of this is giving a picture of what a Chinese night club looks like. It’s crowded and loud and dark but with lots of flashing lights. Not really any different from a night club somewhere else. But here, I found this video of some people at Vics:

It’s a night club. What did you expect? The only really positive thing I can say about the club scene is that it’s where you will find the most attractive Chinese girls. If you’re into that sort of thing, pervert.

3. The Foreigner Bars

These are my favorite places.

A lot of these bars are located in one area too. And there are the familiar street peddlers, but this time they are selling food. There’s food every where along this street. Which is perfect because you can leave a bar at any time and go have a snack.

Also, the street and bars are packed with Westerners. I’ve seen more Westerners in these types of bars than anywhere else in the city. Not just Americans. A lot of Euros. In fact, the inside of the bars remind me of Czech bars. They have a very hole-in-the-wall feel. And those are my favorite types of bars.

There’s a good range of selection. Some of these bars have music and areas to dance. Some are quieter and have a lot of places to sit around. I enjoyed them all. (Some a little too much. McCoy and I ended up dancing on the bar in the middle of one of these places. We made a lot of friends that night.)

Another huge selling point for these bars: They are cheap. We were getting most drinks for under 20 kuai — which is awesome compared to the tiny, 40 kuai drinks I’ve gotten other places. And I was able to go out in this area on Saturday night and spend absolutely no money on alcohol. Now that is a feat.

For me, there is really no contest here. The foreigner bars have a good mix of Chinese and Westerners. They are cheap. The music is decent but not loud enough to make speech impossible. There’s a lot of different sizes and shapes and different rooms to hang out in, depending on your mood. They are like the perfect bars.

Am I Biased?

Yeah, probably a little. If any of you readers come visit I will take you out to all three and you can decide for yourself. And if you’re better at describing settings, I’ll let you rewrite this post.

Alright so that’s it. Were my descriptions terrible? Do you love clubs? Is fortune cookie humor the lowest of the low? If you answer yes to all three then congratulations, I hate you. Just kidding.

Related posts:

1. Chinese Night Life – St. Patrick’s Day
2. Beijing: Australian For “Crowded”
3. Me Scam You Long Time

I’m pretty sure it only snows the Chinese government makes it. They blow a huge horn and the ghost of Mao appears and if they sacrificed enough virgin rice paddy peasant girls to please the ethereal chairman he grants them 3 weather related wishes.

Just kidding, that would be stupid. Really they just pass a law demanding that the weather obey them. It works!

Anyway, here are some of the pictures I took. As usual, click them to get a bigger version.

Here is some random Beijing lady who was shoveling snow. She didn’t really seem like she knew what she was doing.

Here is a snowy road leading away from our apartment. I don’t have any jokes to make about this one or the next couple. So I’ll just post them without comments and you guys pretend I said something really funny.

I don’t know if this is a good picture or not, but I was trying to show how the fat snow flakes were just sort of hanging in the air around the apartment and falling really slowly.

The courtyard outside our building looked really cool with the snow all swirling around.

Guards like this are all over the city. We can’t tell if they are like real government guards or the housing communities hire them. Normally they are much more menacing. But not this guy. He is just enjoying the snow.

These girls didn’t really seem to be enjoying the snow so much. But the next girl that walked by was loving it. Look below.

Look at how happy she is! I never actually saw her face but I’m definitely in love with her. She’s such a free spirit. Maybe we could star in a romantic comedy together. I’ll be all stuffy and upright and well-mannered and she’ll be the free spirited hippie girl who teaches me to enjoy the simple things. That hasn’t been done before, right? I bet her name is Dharma. (For the record, I prefer Simon and Kaylee as my stereotypical-uptight-guy-with-free-spirit-girl couple.)

Alright so that’s what snow looks like in Beijing. Any questions or should I keep making jokes about Mao’s ghost? Fine, I was leaving anyway.

Related posts:

1. Beijing: Australian For “Crowded”
2. What’s Been Going On…
3. Hello From McCoy

Every week I alternate between teaching in the morning or the afternoon. Whatever period I don’t teach during I usually spend doing paper work, lesson planning, important Facebook procrastination, writing articles, or just going to play with the kids anyway.

So for those of you that care here is a timeline of my day (during a week when I work mornings.)

6:30 AM: Wake up tired, snooze the alarm a few times, hate the whole world, burn off my first 3 layers of skin in a hot shower

7:30 AM: Ride my bike for about 15 minutes (through a crowded maze of lunatics) to get to school, then hang out and eat breakfast

8:30 AM: Go to the classroom and hang out with the kids while they play and get situated

9:00 AM: Begin my English lesson. This usually involves getting all the kids to sit around in a circle and doing some introductory sentence practice (“Hello, my name is Roxy and I’m from Australia”) and then singing a song or playing a game and then some flash cards to help them learn new vocabulary words. Occasionally, I have them do English work books.

10:00 AM: The kids have a short snack and then go outside to exercise and play.

11:00 AM: Kids have about 20 minutes of free time, eat lunch then nap. I’m there assisting and organizing.

12:00 PM: My lunch starts and I have until about 2:30

2:30 PM: The kids morning schedule basically repeats but with a Chinese lesson, outside, inside free time, then parents pick them up. I usually join them unless I have some work to do.

5:00 PM: Ride my bike back to the apartment, crash on couch exhausted

I know it doesn’t sound too rough, and it isn’t as bad as McCoys schedule, but it is still pretty tiring. Even though I only teach for an hour I spend all day with them and I constantly have to organize activities and games or break up arguments or fights. It goes really fast, but at the end you feel totally drained. After a few weeks though I bet I will be adjusted and it’ll be easier. Still, it’s nothing to complain about; it’s a pretty amazing job.

So there you have it. That’s my day.

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1. My Kids’ Day (Or At Least How I Imagine Their Day Is)
2. My Day
3. Things My Chinese Assistant Emails Me

It’s really good food for a really low price, (13 yuan each or 1.90 USD) and also has cheap beers. Below are some pictures of our dinner tonight.

Here’s the inside of our shop.

Here are the dumplings or Jiaozi in Chinese.

Here are the xiaolongbao (which are nothing like the real things in Shanghai, too doughy).

More Jiaozi next to our 3 yuan (44 cents American) beers.

Jiaozi Soup.

The food being cooked outside.

Related posts:

1. McCoy’s Food Corner: Cafeteria Food
2. Beijing: Australian For “Crowded”
3. Chinese Night Life – Part 1

Inside the furniture market looks like this:

Room after room just packed to the walls with whatever you might need. They even have the kitchen sink (har har okay I’ll stop).

If you’re interested in a shower that can also travel through time, you’ve come to the right place.

If you’re not so into the luxury of using space technology to shower, don’t worry, they have alternatives.

Who is using these things? My theory is that someone used the time travel shower to bring these things back from around 400 A.D. But what do I know? I’m just a guy who takes pictures of bathtubs.

This isn’t really related to furniture but one of the vendors had it on her desk for good luck. It’s pretty ridiculous.

It’s a golden frog surrounded by a bunch of coins. I’m assuming all of this nonsense is used to increase luck. With a high enough luck rating the vendor will receive +3 to their Ripping Off Foreigners skill.

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1. Dogs of Chende
2. Beijing: Australian For “Crowded”
3. Hot Water, Still No Internet

Vocabulary words for the week: 啤酒 pi jiu – beer

冷水 bing shui – cold water

(I’ll put the tones in there later when I figure out how but for now I’m not going to)

These words were very dear to Anderson and I upon our arrival, because we wanted cold water and also beers. See the Chinese have a habit of drinking boiling hot water (probably to kill the bacteria), but being from America we expect our water to be cold. Anyway back to actual food post.

So I found out that they are going to feed me at my school, which is pretty nice, because I can save money by not paying for lunch. I also found out that cafeteria food is actually not that bad. Monday was rice, vegetables, and pork; Tuesday was rice, a vegetable, and spare ribs; Wednesday rice, vegetables, and chicken; and  Thursday rice, vegetable, fish; and Friday was rice a vegetable and chicken wings.

Are you sensing a pattern? Yup that’s right, rice meat and some sort of random vegetable. It’s actually very good though and they give you a lot of food, so I’m not complaining. The kids are also fed the same thing as the adults for lunch but they also get breakfast and dinner, which I find to be kind of odd.

The other problem is that they are fed the same thing for breakfast and dinner. It’s always a soup that has tofu in it for breakfast and something rather similar with rice for dinner. It seems like it would be pretty boring, and it’s also weird that they are fed all 3 meals, but hey, it’s China and they aren’t starving in the fields like in the past so they deal with it.

Anyway my food corner will be better when I start incorporating pictures and get into more interesting foods. While I’m still trying to get settled and on a real schedule I’ve been eating out of the school and the convenient store downstairs. Hopefully this week I’ll start exploring the food more in depth.

Related posts:

1. Hot Water, Still No Internet
2. My Kids’ Day (Or At Least How I Imagine Their Day Is)
3. Timeline Of My Work Day

Anyway so I’ve started at my new school, and it’s pretty awesome. The kids can get pretty rowdy at times but that’s more on me than it is on them, but they are freakin’ awesome. The one problem that I am dealing with is the fact that I have like 120 kids so trying to learn all their names will be quite a task, but I’m up for the challenge.

The one problem is that even within classes some of the kids are on much different levels, so some of the kids are way ahead of the words I’m trying to teach, and others are way behind. This I suppose is a dilemma of a lot of teachers (and is also a problem with schools in general), but there isn’t too much I can do about it. I try to work with the kids who are behind and try not to favor the kids who are ahead (they are usually easier to work with and I have an urge to favor them).

The school that I’m at is much better than I expected. From the stories that I’ve heard about the school they never usually help the foreign teachers, but on the first day my 90 minute class went really well and they brought in a translator so that I could communicate with the other teachers, and they said that they really like me, which means job security.

This is important because teachers tend to be moved around a lot. This means that they could move me out at any time, which seems to happen a lot. I don’t think that I will have much of a problem because as far as I can tell I am doing a pretty good job, and I assume that most of the people who come to China to teach are not here to actually teach. In fact I’ve often come across this with the teachers that our recruiter brought in.

I’ve also talked to other sources who have said the same thing applies for other countries like Korea. Why would you come to China if you don’t like Chinese food, for instance or if you don’t like kids. It really makes no sense. Anyway I’m going to leave you all with the clip below in case this post was terrible. Enjoy!

Here’s a video to entertain you with in case this post was bad http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjGfgV7rJHI

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1. McCoy’s First Day
2. You’ve Been To China You Know How Things Work
3. Timeline Of My Work Day

Anyway, after having them tighten up all the bolts, I rode it right out of the store and back home. By the way, the store I bought it from is called Carrefour (spelling?). I don’t know if they are in other countries or not. I would describe it as a store trying to be the way the Chinese imagine an American supermarket.

It’s laid out like a western store, so it seems very familiar. The biggest difference is that it’s like a combination of every store ever. The top floor is massive grocery store with tons of fresh fruit and vegetables and all kinds of weirdo meat. It also has all of the standard food like cereal and soda and cookies and snacks. But then you take the escalator downstairs and thats where you can find pretty much everything in the world. It has furniture, bedding, toiletries, motorized scooters, bikes, electronics, clothing, jewelry, school supplies, like really, everything. I could keep listing forever.

Maybe I’ll go back and take some pictures. I also need to take some pictures of the traffic that I’ll be riding in. Until then just trust me that Chinese traffic is such a retarded clusterfuck it’s like nothing you’ve ever seen. There’s 13 million people living in this city and none of them can walk, ride, or drive without getting in each other’s way.

I have a friend who would love it though because he could ride over pedestrians on his bike and nobody would give a shit. Pedestrians have 0% right of way. Buses and cars are king. Bikers are like wiley jesters switching from highway to sidewalk swerving in and out of cars and running down pedestrians. And that’s what I’ll be now.

Update: Apparently Carrefour is a pretty huge and well-known hypermarket chain run by the French. I probably should have just Googled it. But anyway, it’s still an amazing store.

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Anyway, I figure this is as good a piece of Engrish as any to use for a caption contest.

Submit your captions for the above photo in the comments. McCoy and I will select our favorite and we’ll find some Chinese knickknack to give you as a prize.

Here are some good terrible examples to get your started:

• “Ass Hair Salon: The closest shave from top to bottom.”
• “Finally you can show them your best side.”
• “Proper grooming is important for any lady.”

Okay, okay. You can all stop groaning now and come up with some funny ones.

No purchase necessary to win. Multiple entries permitted. Contest eligibility may vary. Prizes subject to nonexistence.

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Monday was supposed to be the day we got everything set up and that pretty much happened except for the internet. Hopefully tonight we will finally get it working and McCoy and I can start pumping out some new posts.

Just as a side note, we went from Friday night to Monday night without a real shower. It was torture to try to take cold showers. The water was like freezing sheets of ice rain. And what made it even worse was that we had a perfectly working water cooler that could give us boiling hot water for tea and coffee. It just taunted us.

I actually tried filling up a Nalgene bottle with the near-boiling water and taking it into the shower. So I was in there like jumping under the ice water and then jumping back and splashing myself with scalding water. I also tried mixing them in little glass drinking cups and lining them up on my shower shelves and pouring them over my head one at a time.

Anyway, this is what becomes of you when you lose some basic amenities. Just so you know…

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1. McCoy’s Food Corner: Cafeteria Food

My first class was half an hour and it was a group of 5 and 6 year olds. I got them up and moving with Head, Shoulders and then did some body part flash cards with them, and then played a game with them. This class was only 30 minutes and went pretty well considering the circumstances.

The second class went much worse. It was what my placement coordinator called an international class, of 2 and 3 year olds, who speak very little English. The first problem with this, as Anderson pointed out, was the fact that 2 year olds have much more important things to learn. Why the hell are they even in school at this age. The second problem is that the Chinese teachers for whatever reason don’t give a crap about these students.

So I was left basically alone, unprepared with teachers who refused to really help me or the children. I suppose it could have been worse, they could have been ass holes to the students like the ones at Anderson’s school. So I tried as hard as I could to keep their attention and to teach them colors and body parts and did really enjoy it when the students knew what was going on.

The best part of my experience with the second class was when I was saying goodbye to them. They were all very sweet and were telling me that they would see me next week, and were excited to give me a handshake or a high five as I was leaving which I found to be incredibly sweet and awesome.

That was pretty much it for my first day, and I’m getting excited for teaching these kids when I actually have some plans and music for them.

And one other note. I also met another American who teaches at the same school that I am going to be at. We went out for a beer at the end of the day and I asked him his motivations for teaching and what he thought about the kids. The first thing that he said was that he believes that there are no bad children, and we went on to talk about methods for teaching and stuff.

It is refreshing, after seeing so many of the new recruits, and how they don’t seem to give a shit, to meet somebody who when you ask them a question like that, that their first response is that there are no bad kids. It really does make me excited to know that there are other people out there who are doing this for all the right reasons, and realize the impact that we are going to have on these children, as opposed to people who are doing this just to get to China.

So overall a pretty bad day considering the circumstances, but one that affords me great hope for this coming year, and has made me really excited for being here.

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1. Am I Making It Worse For My Students?
2. My Day
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The Worst Parts

Pretty much any time I was dealing with adults. Like McCoy explained in his last couple posts, trying to get things done (in an honest and legitimate way) is like pulling teeth in China. I spent all of my “adult interaction” time trying to figure out if I was keeping my job, if McCoy was getting one, where we were going to live, and why no one would just deal plainly with us.

But that wasn’t so bad. The absolute worst part — and will continue to be the worst parts of all my days — was seeing the poor treatment of children. It’s mostly a lot of little things that show how little respect adults have for children. The worst incident happened during the students’ lunchtime.

I was in my classroom sitting with my students when a Chinese assistant stormed into the room with a student of a different class. She was pulling him along with one hand and had his plate of food in the other. The assistant forced him into a seat at a far table and slammed the food down in front of him. She yelled at him angrily. Then, she pulled him out of his seat and dragged him toward our table while pointing and yelling. It was in Chinese but I guessed it was something like “Look at how well behaved they are!” She put him back into his seat, hard, and then walked out of the room.

My kids were just staring at me, trying to read my reaction. I got up and walked over the boy who had just been yelled at and sat down in front of him. He was sitting silently, staring at his plate of food, and brooding. After a few seconds of me sitting there he looked up.

“My name is Anderson. What’s your name?”

“My name is Derek…” And he burst into tears.

Jesus Christ, I hate this. “What’s wrong?”

He mumbled some words in Chinese and English. It sounded like “I don’t like this food. I don’t want to eat it.”

Suddenly the Chinese assistant appeared back in the room and came stalking over to our table. She slowed down when she saw me sitting there and sat down without saying anything. I asked her what the problem was. Her response was in Chinese, angry, and directed at Derek.

“He doesn’t like the food?” I asked.

The assistant nodded but gave Derek a look like You’re such a bad kid for not wanting to eat this.

“Can’t he just eat something else?”

She looked at me. Angrily at first, but then her face sort of… calmed. She picked up the plate of food and led Derek out of the room, presumably to find him something else to eat.

This was a small incident, especially in the grand scheme of how children are treated around the world. But it doesn’t matter. It’s a perfect example of adults not treating kids like they’re human beings.

I talked to the other teachers about it later and they agreed that it was terrible, but also warned me that I would see a lot of more it. “This is just how things are here. You can try to report the assistant, but since she didn’t hit the kid no one would do anything. Hitting isn’t even a big deal in China, let alone yelling. And if you do try to get the assistants in trouble it will just hurt you more. They are the headmaster’s eyes and ears and if you get on their bad side you won’t be here long.” Great. I’m going to see this happening over and over and every time I will have to walk the thin line of trying to help and protect the kids without pissing off the assistants. Because truly going after the aggressive assistants would mean losing any chance of helping the kids.

But this is the shit you have to deal with when you’re trying to do decent things in a world full of terrible things. What other choice is there besides giving up and accepting that the world will always be full of terrible things? That’s something I would be more inclined to accept if it wasn’t for what’s next…

The Best Parts

Easy, the kids. Spending the day playing with 5 and 6 year olds. How could that not be the best part? And the hundreds of moments of them learning and playing and laughing and just enjoying themselves that I got to witness and be part of.

I’m going to do a post describing my kids, but for now trust me that they are totally awesome. There are so many conversations and interactions that I want to explain, but I’ll just give you my favorite.

I was beginning my English lesson that was all about introductions. Every student is supposed to say something like “Hello everybody, my name is [whatever]. I’m five years old and I’m from [wherever].” So the Chinese assistants wheeled over a big whiteboard for me and I started writing out the introductory phrase.

“Excuse me, excuse me!” called Roxy. “But the last teacher used to write down all of our names and if we behaved we would get a star next to our name. And we got three stars then we’d get a sticker.”

Obviously, I was not going to do the whole rewards and punishments thing. “Hmm, well, what if we just forget about that whole star and sticker thing and you guys just behave on your own?”

I watched seven heads tilt like confused puppies. “Um, okay, I guess…”

So that was definitely my favorite moment. I just laughed and we moved on. It worked and the kids all behaved. It probably won’t always work. But the kids can’t ever really misbehave anyway. They want to do certain things and I want to do certain things. It’s not “misbehaving” just because I don’t want them to do it. The challenge is finding ways to work together so we can both get what we want. It’s definitely much harder than just “I’m the authority figure so do what I say.” But so what? The price for treating someone like they are a real human being and not a slave to be ordered around is never too high.

Anyway, this is a pretty long post so I should wrap it up. There are more sad moments that I could recount, but many more happy ones. I think I’ll save both for my next 360 days.

Related posts:

1. Am I Making It Worse For My Students?
2. 3 Things Wrong With The Rewards System
3. My Kids’ Day (Or At Least How I Imagine Their Day Is)

Anyway, today I sat around waiting to hear from the school that Anderson was basically accepted to last night. We were in close contact throughout the day going back and forth on what was going on here in the recruiters offices as well as in the school itself because nobody would tell us anything.

Here are a couple of the conversations that occurred throughout the day:

10 am New Teacher who interviewed with me and Anderson yesterday talking to one of the recruiters: I don’t really think that this is for me so is it okay if I go home? (this was her 2nd day in China)

1215 pm McCoy: I heard the phone conversation this morning. So the head recruiter is going to go down and talk to the headmistress of the school?

Anderson: Forget all that I’m pretty sure the guy under her is about to be deported, and I’m taking over for him. Wait you don’t think that the recruiters…

McCoy: No way. Right, no way?

Anderson: Well we both thought it right?

McCoy: I’m just going to assume that they don’t have that power.

1pm McCoy: So what’s going on [recruiter].

Recruiter: I can’t really say, but you know the guy you met yesterday who used to work for us? He’s being deported.

McCoy: Okay… What for?

Recruiter: Well he got really drunk and broke an ATM. He paid for it and the bank and cops were fine with it but the government has decided to deport him.

130pm Teacher during training: Is there any Chinese mob that we have to worry about?

McCoy (under my breath): yeah the government.

2pm Anderson to McCoy via Gchat: okay teacher 1 is here, and she’s introducing herself to teacher 2… who is about to replace her… wtf…

210pm McCoy via Gchat: is there a Chinese mob somebody just asked

Anderson: government

What is important to recognize here is that the first conversation of the day was a girl explaining how she was in over her head. And then the rest of the day happened.

So I am going to end this post with an explanation of the title of this post. I told my friend, who has been in China on and off for the last 4 years about this. All she could say when I told her was, “just remember, it’s China, this shit happens all the time.”

Related posts:

1. You’ve Been To China You Know How Things Work
2. Basketball In China
3. And I’m Back…

About 5 minutes later the school called and informed us that even though the teachers liked my demo better the students preferred Anderson. This meant that I had to go next door and demo at another school, while our liaison told Anderson to wait either at the McDonalds or the KFC (apparently that’s the US embassy). I interviewed at the next school which went well and it seemed like they liked me but our contact was pretty vague on if I was going to be working there.

Anderson and I went back to the offices of the recruiting group and they called us in regarding housing (no, we have not found housing yet, and yes, we are still in a little 9×9 hotel room, with a 2 foot separation between our beds). Anyway it seems like our placement company wants us to take their housing based on the stipulation that they help me get a job at the school where Anderson had interviewed the day before (that’s right, in the middle of training they brought Anderson, who had no idea what to do during an interview or a demo for the students to interview with the headmaster of a school on his first day in China). Finally, we agreed to take their housing assuming that I get the job at the same school as Anderson.

All of the things that our agency is doing seems pretty weaselly and when we asked, we were told that it will be fine, and they literally said to me “you’ve been to China you know how things work” (take that as you will). So Anderson and I went to the school to demo with another person who is using the same agency as us, who had never had any training before and was actually chosen by the headmaster to go first. This was my 3rd demo of the day (which is essentially running a class on the spot in front of all authority figures in the school and is very stressful and draining).

After her debacle (which actually wasn’t considering she had no idea what to do, she did fairly well), Anderson and I both seemed to do well. Last night they called Anderson and told him that the school wants him to go down tomorrow and observe the school and assured him that they liked me, but they still don’t if they are going to accept me. Now we are forced to play wait and see and if they don’t accept me we’ll be back where we were yesterday afternoon, assuming they don’t screw us. As our contact told me yesterday I’ve been to China I know how things work, which is to say not very well.

Related posts:

1. Just Remember It’s China This Sh*t Happens All the Time
2. My New School (and What’s Been Up The Past Past Couple Months)
3. Timeline Of My Work Day

Anyway, hopefully these pictures will help explain. (Click on them for a bigger version.)

This is a group of people lining up to get on a subway train. Notice how there are infinite of them.

Being on the subway is like an endless hall of mirrors. Except everyone is way too close and people are giving me dirty looks for taking pictures.

This is a packed wall-to-wall food court. Oh, by the way, below is an amazingly cheap and delicious meal that I bought in said food court.

This cost me 2 US dollars. Yup.

Speaking of food, there are so many street vendors (like the one above) that serve pretty legit food. I had one of those burrito-style wrap things. It was full of duck and veggies and really good. But not all street meat is legit.

This guy is cooking meat on top of a bucket. I passed at least a dozen other people doing the same thing. What the fuck? To his credit the meat smelled pretty good. (Also, I’m not sure why his face looks like that. Maybe he’s some sort of vampire shape-shifting meat cooker. I know it’s not because I fucked up the photo.)

One last thing. When we were at the hospital to take some medical exams we had to wait in line forever — which is typical — but for some reason the lines are labelled so strangely.

Why are there IP addresses labeling these lines? And why are they scrolling past on a stock ticker screen? Honestly, someone explain this to me.

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1. Check Out My Sweet Ride
2. Snow In Beijing
3. Jade Factory and Badaling

5. How Else Are You Going to Find Out What Is Going On Over There

China is a long, long way away and you’re not going there. But we are. And we’re going to let you know exactly what type of crazy shit is happening there. Where else are you going to get that kind of information from, the news? The only thing you’re going to find out by watching the news is what celebrities tweeted about Tiger’s apology.

4. We Have No Idea What We’re Doing

Two guys who speak no Chinese, currently have no place to live, and know next to nothing about Chinese culture and customs. Some ridiculous things are going to happen to us and you know you want to read about it.

3. There Will Be Pictures

I’m going to be using my terribly amateur photography skills to bring you the finest second hand experience of things like the Great Wall and Mao’s Tomb. (I’m attaching a special lens so we can see if Mao’s ghost is wandering around holding hands with Zombie Hitler.)

2. You’re Our Friends So You’re Obligated To

We’re going to be calling you making sure you’re reading. Consider yourself warned.

1. There Will Be A Lot Of Really Awful Jokes

You’re going to realize that real quick, but then I’m sure you’ll enjoy them. Probably.

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