CP16: Life in China Outside of Beijing
Anderson and Jaime chat with special guest Ma Wei, who talks about living in a small Chinese city and how it compares with life in the capital.
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CP11: Jayden and Artists
The eleventh episode of the Chinarchy podcast. Jaimie tells a couple stories from her school and we talk about some interesting (and positive) cultural experiences.
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Me Scam You Long Time
A (brilliant and devilishly handsome) guy named Will recently posted a story about getting scammed by a Chinese con artist. I’m reposting it here for your enjoyment. Read below:
I just got scammed out of a hundred US dollars. And it’s my own idiot, iPhone-loving fault.
It’s a long story…
I was getting off the subway at Yonganli and some weird crackhead Chinese guy kept trying to get me to buy an iPhone. Whatever, though, Yonganli is full of people trying to sell you shit. I ignored him for a little but then I realized it was a real iPhone, so I got a little intrigued. He said 2000 kuai and shoved it into my hand. It was definitely real (retina display!). This shit must be stolen, there’s no way he’d sell it for 2000RMB. I walk away again and he keeps saying “need money need money” and sniffing and looking all crackhead. So I stop and say, “500 kuai.” He says no and walks away, but then turns around to follow me again. He offers me it for 600 kuai and puts it in my hand again.
Now at this point, a couple things are going through my head. 1. How the fuck is this guy selling me a real iPhone 4 for 600 kuai. I have to take that deal. 2. This is definitely stolen, whats the proper moral stance on buying a stolen iPhone from a cracked out Chinese dude? 3. Will, Will, this is too good to be true. Go home.
Now, 3 obviously wasn’t helping. So let’s just ignore that voice. 2 raises some good points. I decided if I bought it, I would call one of the contacts (I already checked, there were 36 in the phone) and try to return it. Surely, the real owner would reimburse me the hundred bucks for returning his phone. And if it didn’t have a real owner, than number 1 was right and I just got a sweet deal on an iPhone.
So we go to an ATM to get the money (we were still in Yongangli with like a bajillion people around, I wasn’t in some dark alley) and this guy is really cracking out bad. He keeps taking the phone out and putting it away and taking it out and playing with it. And creepily looking around him and talking fast in Chinese. He’s freaking me out basically. And right as I’m going to put in my pin he shoves the phone into my hand and points at my pocket. I put the phone in my pocket, get the money from the ATM, hand it to him and start walking away.
Then he calls his friend over to see if I want to buy an iPhone 3Gs. This guy is even more aggressive than the first and keeps trying to get me to buy it until finally I tell him to get lost and duck into a Starbucks. (I wasn’t being cliche by taking my new iPhone to Starbucks, I was headed there already.)
I sit down and try to come down off my adrenaline high and reach into my pocket. This is going to be so sweet. I’m going to call Brett and be like ‘Dude guess who is calling you from his new iPhone.’ It’s going to be hilarious.
I grab the phone but its suspiciously light. “Oh no no no no no.” Calm down, calm down. It’s just you being all excited.
But as soon as I look at the phone I know something is wrong. It’s all cheap and fake and OH MY FUCKING GOD HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!
Then I remember him repeatedly putting it in his pocket and taking it out, and him shoving it into my hands right as I was distracted at the ATM.
FUCK ME. No. This can’t be.
I run out into the street to look for him. Of course they are gone.
I went back into Starbucks, and resentfully glared at all the people on their iPhones, and typed the above status update.
So basically, today I failed China. Big time.
There you have it. Let his 600 kuai be a lesson to you all.
CP5: Usher and Ethan
The fifth Chinarchy audio post. This episode I talk about going to an Usher concert, my awesome dancing skills, how my class environment has changed, dealing with a hitting problem, and the authoritarian vs. permissive parenting false dichotomy.
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Note: It’s forty-eight minutes long. Forty-eight minutes of baller. Don’t hate.
Two-Month Recap
Last week marked the end of our second month in China. I thought it would a good idea to write a post summarizing what has happened. Be forewarned, this might be somewhat of a long ramble.
McCoy and I posted a lot during the first week about some of the crazy stuff going on, but I don’t think it painted a very clear picture, so let’s begin there.
The First Week
The first night we arrived at the airport and were greeted by our contact here. She would later become McCoy’s girlfriend — yes, it was literally the first girl he met in China, go ahead and settle those bets now. We had a 30 minute ride from the airport into the city, and it was pretty uneventful.
The highway seemed a little crazy with everyone speeding and swerving, but it wasn’t too jarring. And as we approached the city is looked like every other city: a lot of bright lights and buildings.
Our contact checked us into a hotel — where we would stay for the next 5 days — and pointed us in the direction of an ATM, a restaurant, and the subway. She told us another employee would meet us at a hospital the next day and asked if we needed help navigating the subway. We told her we didn’t, we hoped we didn’t.
After that we took out some yuan and had our first Chinese meal. We pretty much just pointed at pictures (while the waitress laughed at us) and hoped for the best. It wasn’t bad but we did end up getting some duck feet which McCoy ate. After that we succumbed to the jet-lag and 13 hour time difference and passed out.
In the morning we made our trip to the hospital. The subway ride spawned this post.
There wasn’t much cultural shock happening. Beijing was crowded and nobody really spoke English. But besides that it seemed fine. For sure, Chinese culture is different in many ways than Western culture and I’ll explore that more in later posts.
In any case, we weren’t really given much time to be shocked. From the first day we were being rushed around different places for our jobs. First the hospital, then the main office, then to different schools. By our third day there I had already visited 3 schools and been offered a job by one of them.
Do you know the feeling of starting a new job? You’re starting right in the middle of things and there’s so much going on, you just have to try to learn as fast as possible and get up to speed. It’s stressful but exciting. So imagine that, and then add in being in a new city with a language you don’t speak and 13 million people.
Some of the other teachers didn’t like it so much. One girl quit after being in China for only one day. And most others were stressed and nervous wrecks.
I like to tell myself that I’m really great in those types of situations. The kind where you’re under a lot of pressure but you still keep your head clear and just roll with the punches. It doesn’t matter how fast things are happening and how little explanations I’m getting, I can handle it. Right?
It was definitely easier having someone you can trust with you, but even with that, it was a pretty unsettling few days. I remember having problems effectively accessing and sorting my thoughts and emotions for the first two or three weeks after being here. And I’m sure it was because those first few days drove me into a “survival mode” where I couldn’t really feel relaxed and comfortable. It wasn’t until I started journaling again frequently that I really felt like I was back to normal.
So the first week of being shuffled around ended with us being placed at schools and finding an apartment. Over the next couple weeks we found a third roommate, bought furniture and kitchen stuff, and settled into our routines.
The Routine
The routine since then has pretty much been teaching during the week and hanging out with the other teachers on the weekend. We haven’t been able to see many touristy sites outside of Beijing because the weekends are too short for any real traveling.
And since the first week, the stress has found a new source: teaching. I won’t go to too much into it here, but constantly dealing with aggressive assistants, overbearing administrators, and great kids that you want to protect from everything really leaves me ragged by the end of the day.
Of course, teaching isn’t all bad. It’s actually really great and I love it. But I love it because of the kids and hate it because of pretty much everything else.
Besides working, we did meet a lot of other people that were cool. And a lot that weren’t that great.
I had this misconception before we left. I thought that most foreigners we met in China would be awesome. Just think about it, these are people who have left everything they knew behind to travel to the other side of the world. They must be adventurous and individualistic. They bailed on their countries and cultures and all of that other bullshit to go experience something totally new and to teach kids while they’re doing it. They must be awesome.
Wrong. For sure, there are some really cool people we’ve met. Those are the ones I continue to hang out with. But besides that, you pretty much have the same spectrum you have anywhere. The range from socially awkward and creepy types to annoying douchebag types. It’s inescapable.
So What’s Next?
Not sure. McCoy has a relationship developing. Hopefully he’ll post about that at some point.
And I’m just hanging out. I teach, I blog, I do self-work, I design shit, and I socialize on the weekends. It’s actually pretty fantastic and I really like living here. My Chinese still sucks, but I’m not working on it too much, I just absorb things here and there.
I promised myself I wouldn’t think about what to do after China until I had been here at least 6 months, and I’m sticking to that rule.
As for this website, I’m not sure. I still haven’t figured out the balance between touristy stuff with pictures and humorous anecdotes, the (sometimes heavy) teaching stuff, and the philosophical and psychological ideas and thoughts. It’s something that I’m constantly thinking about and trying to improve. All three are really important to me, and they are related in different ways. If you have feedback on this subject please let me know.
I know I’m going to keep posting a lot of teaching stuff, I have a few more From Childhood To Statism posts planned. And eventually I’ll be motivated to get into some straight philosophy. I also have posts about Chinese culture, including one called “The Cult of the Chairman”, in the works.
If you’re looking for some more picture posts get excited, I am visiting the Great Wall this weekend and will (hopefully) get some great shots.
For the rest I’m just being patient and working on things as they come up.
Alright, I think that’s pretty much it. I hope you enjoyed your stay in Ramble City and some of this was interesting. If not, I’m sure my next post will have some really bad and immature jokes. Everything will be right with the world!
Until then…
