Things My Chinese Assistant Emails Me
I have a couple assistants who help me in the classroom. One of them, we’ll call her Vicky, speaks some English and handles a lot of translation work for me. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, her English skills are good enough to be intelligible but bad enough to be hilarious. Here are some of the email exchanges we’ve had.
While I’m waiting to receive a lesson plan
Vicky: Hey Anderson, I am so sorry. my computer in trouble and I repair it now .maybe I will email to you about 8:30 tonight.
Me: Haha, that’s okay. I hope your computer gets out of trouble. Goodluck!
Vicky: thank you. oh my god.
After I asked if we can use class time to practice a performance
Vicky: k ,no problem.haha .sorry ,my English is so bad .I want to cry .later may be I will email next week’s lesson plan to you .please correct .thanks.
Random email
Vickey: Hi, Are you watching TV now ? I want to tell you that tomorrow our English lesson may by cancel ,because Chinese teacher want to practise her lesson ,in order to through testing on friday. Are you clear?
Me: I’m clear. No I’m not watching TV. Are you?
Vicky: haha ,I have finished my work .i am watching TV now.tomorrow I need to print something ,If the teacher classroom can not work ,perhaps I will call you,is it ok? sorry,tomorrow I can bring laptop to school too ,because my boyfriends need it ,very very need it .
After sending her a lesson plan written by the administrators
Vicky: I will be mad ,why next week we have two activities every day .because next week english in the afternoon.are you clear?
Me: Because [the administrator] is a retard.
Vicky: haha I do not know “retard”.but I think it is not a good word.
After I asked her to clarify part of a lesson (note: I had previously called Vicky gay the day before)
Vicky: h ,that is a dialogue between teacher and children. Chelsea let me told you next monday English lesson in the afternoon.only monday.because that day some teacheres will come to test.Do you understand? just now ,I have look into “gay” from the dictionary .
Random email containing a lesson plan
Vicky: Hi handsome boy. I can not open my eyes right now ,I must go to sleep right now . sorry ,my english is so bad so that waste your so much time. see you.
